Living Poly out loud
 

I'm curious about others experience living the Poly lifestyle and being out to family and friends about it. My wife and I are not out to family and friends. To date I have not formed a serious emotional connection to a second partner. However, I do often think "what if I want a serious relationship with another?". How do I make that partner not feel less than or equally important?

i'm just getting out of a long-term poly relationship, but honestly, it's like just about anything else controversial - at least with my family. some people were very supportive and understood why it was important to me; others didn't get it but sort of smiled and nodded and were like 'that's just a'ishah being weird again, whatever'; others just ignored it altogether (thankfully mostly distant relatives). coming out without expectations of people being super accepting or overjoyed helped; some people just won't 'get it,' but they will still love you. and it's different with every family; this is just my experience, i've been fairly lucky in that i've been estranged from family for other reasons but never for my life choices.

as far as balancing connection between both partners, personally, for me it helped to establish from the get go that there was no primary or secondary and to consult both partners in major life decisions and so on. in my experience, you develop that level of trust and having both partners feel accepted by continually reinforcing your love and commitment to both of them - over time they'll see that it's not a competition. it comes through showing them with your actions.