Personal Space -- In Your Face
 

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

I cant take crowds at all...

I dont like people behind me

At work there is a wall behind me and everyone is around me :)

If I know you hugs dont bother me.

When I first started being a part of the lesbian community, I had to get used to all the hugging....you meet a person through a mutual friend at a gathering and two hours later when you are saying goodbye to them they hug you. Huh? Do I know you?

I learned that indeed talking to them for five minutes did qualify as "knowing them" and this qualified us for "hug status"....I just went with the flow and got used to it...now I can hug anyone.

In general though, I think that my comfort level of space between myself and another person would fall under average to wanting a bit more space than the average person.

personal space... i do not like to be touched by new people or drunks or hardley anyone but my partner in public. i get nervous in crowds and do anything to get away into my own space. when i met a new person a hand shake is fine.. i dont like the hugs..i put up with it from friends but only because they are friends and i try to limit the touching. ive been known to throw a mean right hook when someone sneaks up behind me or startels me. then when im home i love being cuddeling and sharing my space with my partner but even there im funny about it sometimes.

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My brother could be the poster boy for Aspergers Syndrome. I cant' think of a characteristic that he does NOT exhibit. I'm mentioning him in the context that my mother used to confide in me that my brother would never make eye contact with her when he was an infant, even when he was feeding. Even as an infant, he cried if he was picked up and relaxed again only when he was put down. Most babies lock into their mother's eyes. Needless to say, my brother doesn't like to hug. We had a standing joke that after a long separation, I could give him a hug so long as it didn't last more than 3 seconds and was accompanied by the phrase: "Hug, Hug, Pat, Pat. Okay, I did it." Not suggesting your relation is an Aspie, but feeling extremely uncomfortable in that situation is certainly characteristic of someone with social anxiety.

In public, if it gets too crowded near me, i'll usually try to move off to the side just enough to get some breathing room but not to remove myself completely.

Recently i was at a very crowded street festival and had to actually fight going into my little space, a new experience for me. Luckily i had a very calming influence on my phone and they helped me get past that moment quickly.

i love being on a crowded dance floor though.

The thing is, i love going to stuff like that. i also love just walking around, whether downtown, at flea markets....anything. But if i sense or hear/feel people behind me, i'll move to the side so they can go by me.

As far as being around friends, i am a touchy-feely person, and love to give hey & bye hugs. But don't stay in my space during a conversation, unless i want you there.

If i'm interested in someone but don't want them to know, i'll go out of my way to not get in their personal space, but i think that's because most times i'm afraid they'll pick up on my vibes if i do.

With family, and this includes my friends who have meshed into family through the years, I rarely feel the need to pull back. With anyone else, there is a definitive line drawn and any push over that line is received with my physically stepping back to regain my necessary distance. How much distance is determined by who that person is and the context of the situation.

I have recently been told that I am an "in your face person" and this surprised me. Never saw myself that way. I asked a friend who has known me a long time and she said yes. However when I asked for clarification, she said I get in people's faces when I find their behavior or conversation offensive, which is totally different from the discussion here.

I am a touchy, feely person with those I care for and enjoy being touched by them. However, to be thought of as someone who doesn't sense anothers "personal space" has given me pause. Not saying I feel horrible about it, but I will be more attentive to it now.

I still tend to like my alone time, I like to be quiet for days, it's hard to manuever if you are partnered or friends with people who don't get it or take it or make it about them. I am honest right away about how I am or can be, I am slow to brew it's not going to change.

I'm at a cross roads right now in my life because of current events, I see myself teeter totering between going into recluse to not. It's been hard to find an even balance and I can feel I am not as open to being to close with people. I know enough about myself to work it out and find a healthy balance, but it's hard cause when you are someone who is guarded there are events or experiences that will make one want to go back to old habits and those old habits well they make for a touchless existence. I know I gotta keep working on this though.

hi folks!!! :)

What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?


my level of personal space is dictated by the type of energy that surrounds me or approaches me. i was born with something that attracts predators(good and bad) and i have been painfully and blissfully aware of this since i was very very young.

i crave touch and when i lack in being touched my physical tick emerges...my parents weren't touchy, weren't emotional and lacked kindness.waiting in line and hugs don't bother me. i mean, hug or handshake away, it doesn't matter because i am gonna read/feel that persons energy whether i want to or not. sometimes they can energize me and sometimes they can drain me to where i need a nap after the exchange. everybody hugs differently and i am ok with that.

:mohawk:

navigating crowds is really just a matter of waiting and deflecting. i used to get overwhelmed when i was younger until i learned to block people and their energy. now i just remain alert and anticipate, especially when i am out with my Ms and loved ones.