Im sorry I didnt mean for it to seem like that.

Erased post.

I am all for telling the people I love that I love them.

Femmes are not fragile. BTW. Or more emotional lol. :) Some of us are, but just as many of us are not. Lot's of butches and lot's of people in general are emotional. :)

But back to the subject, if she knows she is in a poly relationship with you and everything is in the open and you love her, why qualify it? Love adds to love, it does not have to be I am INNNNNN love with one person and just love this other person like love has degrees.

If she knows the situation and you have been honest, it seems a bit patronizing to try to protect her from herself.

I would be more likely to say I love you and here is why and how.

Love and In Love ? What are some examples of Love vs IN Love ? I think Love is Love !! Black and White no Gray area ! I have loved and been loved I have hurt and been hurt but it was issues that we had as a couple that destroyed the beauty of the love ...

i truly appreciate this thread and i must say i have Not heard "i love you" in any way shape or form for a very, very, very, very long time.

i'm extremely sensitive and tenderhearted, yet also a realist, so if i should hear "i love you," i take it into perspective. my reply has been in the past "i love you too..." but by mere fantasy of ego that someone is actually feeling for me.

being the slightly jaded individual i am... my reply now would be "okay, i care about you..."
nothing more, nothing less.

are there strings attached to saying "i love you??" perhaps consequences, yes.

hope this helps. :)

awww dog'it.... (laughing)... many of the recent post, point out the pickle of emotions that mix with being poly... I still feel love for my previous GF...

The long discussions of what is 'love' vs what is 'in love'... these conversations have taken place. Her words, define "in love" as willing to do what ever it takes to keep the relationship going -until you just can't stand it any more and have to get out- that doesn't match my definition,

to me "in love" is more like the fascination (almost like infatuation) the 'can't quite figure out what it is about you, but I sure do want to find out'

commitment is a whole other level.

I love friends and family and sometimes pets... I am not 'in love' with any of them... and I have no 'unconditional' commitments.

I can say 'I love you" to family and friends, but adding sex to the relationship, makes it a picky issue.

I get this. Loving is pretty easy for me. I genuinely love many people. I can love someone and we can have great sex but I have no need to take to the next level or create a partnership with them. I've always been a bit perplexed by the whole love thing. I don't understand why it ever has to end. It should evolve and change but never end.

I could easily do poly with the right people, however I also dominant and often my control is viewed as possessive. I don't need to love you to own/control you but chances are I'll need to respect you and somewhere love is most likely going to brew. So if I say "I'm IN LOVE" with you it probably means I'm intimately fucking you, hanging out with you and that I see a future with you. BUT as we all know that could change any time. At this point in my life I'm thinking love is enough and to be honest I want to love as many people as I can. Hopefully I'll fuck a few of them too.

Ah... and there is the rub of it -- I realize that is exactly what I am doing.

How would you (as in anyone who reads this) feel -- to find out long after the fact (so to speak) that someone loved you and did not trust you with the whole truth? ... sigh...

If she was in my face right now, ... telling me she had read this thread, and asked why I won't say it... I would have to look her in the eye and say, "???"
(stalling for time to think of a good answer)

I would say, "Because, what I feel, and what I am willing to stand by, as a commiment are not the same thing. Love beyond friendship is not what I am able to give to you. If my feelings are in conflict with my commiment to be your friend, then that is where the line is drawn. I promised to be your friend first. The rest takes second place to that."

I love ya ;)

Everything seems to always have strings but they don't have to be chains.