Butch Femme Planet - What are your faults?

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- Thinking Harder (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=134)

- - What are your faults? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6389)

6) I fight sleep like a child, afraid I will miss something

I have a lot of self-defeating behaviors.

One of these is that I tend to see the world in extreme black-and-white, which makes me very hard on myself and others, and perpetuates a bleak world view that makes it hard for me to feel hopeful.

Example: I quickly go to "never," as in, "It will never get better," and this makes it difficult to assess situations that really are hopeless—I don't trust my judgment and talk myself into giving it more time.

On the flip side of the same behavior, an extreme black-and-white perspective compromises my judgment when things are going great, and prevents me from being cautious when warranted.

It can also make me demonize or glorify people unwisely, though ironically, while I demonize myself, I rarely glorify myself.

I'm working on this one. Just being conscious of it, loosens its grip on me.

What are my faults? Well, I have some characteristic behaviors that I feel need improvement, and I have some characteristic behaviors that annoy others. The two sets of "faults" don't necessarily coincide. The "faults" that I've listed below apply only to personal relationships.

From my perspective, my "faults" (characteristics that I feel do not always contribute positively to my personal life) are
- I am too trusting, almost to the point of being naive. I take people at their word. I assume that people's intentions are good.
- I am too tolerant of other people's hurtful behavior and do not immediately call out them on their thoughtlessness.
- I am not assertive enough.

From the perspective of others, my "faults" are
- I avoid confrontation. (I agree that I do this, but I disagree that this is necessarily a fault.)
- I am too analytical and objective. (I slightly disagree.)
- I am not aggressive enough. (I slightly agree.)
- When I am angry, I react by withdrawing rather than expressing my anger and forcing immediate resolution. (I agree. I tend to stifle my anger and withdraw. When the cumulative anger reaches a certain level, I explode - which usually appears to be an over-reaction to the latest thing that angered me.)

Faults, yep we've all got them. Well, let's see what I've got going on...

Being the people pleaser that I am, I have a very hard time telling people NO.

I am the world's best cheerleader for others, but I am my own worst critic.

If someone upsets me, I very rarely ever tell them. It leads to hurt & resentment... and if I would just learn to speak up for myself a lot of these feelings could be avoided.

I have a lead foot...vroooommmmmmmm

When I love, I love completely and I will do anything to keep it safe and strong.

I think I get blinded by my own Love for someone, meaning I love so deeply I overlook my own needs at times by believing the story I tell myself about why they are not being met.

I am learning I have a real need to have my life undisturbed. with my Ex she was gone for years for work and I had what appeared to be the security of her Love but I was very content in my life living it with a great deal of independence since she was gone.
-I truly enjoyed when we were together too though, maybe I just got used to my own company being enough...

I think ALL THE TIME about EVERYTHING...

I think my way into and out of lots of things

I can be very impulse when I get excited about something or someone...

My faults are way too many to name. :(

My mantra is "I'm a Bitch, but I'm not YOUR Bitch" ...gives you some idea ;)

my first thought was : I'm a virgo , I don't have any. snort! ;]

I hate making mistakes.
I will double check things (sometimes) to the point of then making a mistake.
This happened today and I was so disgruntled with myself (eyeroll) there was really nothing left to do but laugh

I take people at their word. If they say they are your best friend I expect them to love me just the way I am faults and all.
I am a talker. I can keep a conversation going but sometimes I forget that it is better to stop and listen.
I get hurt easy. I need a stronger sheild over my heart.
I may forgive but I never forget.
When I become a friend I am there for the long haul.
I am not perfect.. just me!

Sometimes my instant reaction to things is to try to stop change from happening. I know better than this, my life is hardly ever easy and it's always intense.

This isn't very healthy behavior:

I don't want to talk for hours or at all sometimes.
I don't pick up the phone.
I can be in a quiet space for days.
I don't ask for help.
I will be take the offense and put you in defense.
I get bored easy and will create change just for the sake of change.
I am cheap. I am not talking about not willing to go out for a $200 dinner cheap, but CHEAP! I fix and repair and buy secondhand. Odd, no issues with buying a great gift for partners/friends/family or giving to charities, but its really hard to buy myself something nice and deserved.
I am not attractive, but don't work at doing anything different or care to change it. (this does not mean I don't shower or take care of my health, means I don't spend time with makeup etc).

My mind is constantly going. I am always thinking about 20 things all at once.
I refuse to settle. (this pointed out by another I call it being kind to me not a fault)
Im emotionless at times ( if I dont trust you then you are not worthy of knowing how I feel by the look on the face or my body language and I would sure never show you my tears)

So this thread had me thinking my thinky thoughts.

I got caught up somewhere in breaking down personality faults/flaws vs character faults/flaws.

This is a big deal for me, because I’m a character gal, meaning: Matters of character are far more interesting and important to me, than matters of persona, or personality.

Thusly, locating flaws means I’m sorting through not only something that may be unpleasant or difficult to admit about myself, but that I a sort of have a hierarchy of faults.

Flaws (my own or in others) that come from the realm of person or reaction I can usually handle well...sort of like, you say tomatoe, and I say tomato.

Flaws or faults that I sense or deliberate come from matters relegated to character, not so much. Those ones make me turn, and often walk away.

With all that said:

Here’s my (dirty) laundry list

Somewhere along the way, I’ve internalized messages about worth: I’ve not given myself the self care I’ve needed, constantly taken on too much, and have a vastly annoying knee-jerk response to please.

This leads to the self-judgment and anger at myself for ‘allowing’ through my decisions and actions, harm to come my way. Harm in the shape of exhaustion, harm in the shape of inequality in relationships, etc.

Although I grew up in Jewish/Catholic households ( long story!) I’m intolerant of religion, and religious beliefs. I get easily frustrated and my filter slips. I don’t want to hear about anyone’s imaginary friend, and I don’t want to be cajoled or threatened with brimstone and damnation if I can’t see said imaginary friend, also.

I live in my head. A lot. But not always in my body. I know what I know, but don’t always act on that knowledge—the end result of this is essentially self-destructive or self-sabotaging.

I tend towards manic, full tilt boogie, completion ain’t my thing endeavours, and I need a form/source of ‘measurement’ for it to feel ‘real’ or ‘good’. Like: if I go for a walk, I set a goal. 8Kms. 10kms. 15kms ( I’m part goat or camel). Until I HIT that mark, it’s not a walk that ‘counts’…. If I find something exciting or interesting, I’ll devour it, but eventually, like a new trinket that has lost its luster, all new interests end up like misfits on the island of broken toys. Musical instruments, exercise equipment, etc.

Impatience
I'm OCD about some things
Perfectionist

even if You hurt me, i mean really hurt me, i will not retaliate. i will still treat You with respect and take care of You to the best of my ability
i see good in someone or something and no matter what, i try my best to bring that out of them.. even if it is just .01 percent and the other 99.9 percent is downright evil
i think very little about myself
i am too much of an open book.
i am too trusting.

What are your faults?

I'm very impatient.....

Where to begin...

I'm Moody. Vain. Pouty. Perpetually bored. Hard time focusing. Immature. Slightly meanish. Rarely satisfied. Shopaholic. Messy. Obsessive compulsion. Anxious. Cry baby. So much more.

How much time do you have?

Moody, insecure, untrusting, anti-social, immature, obsessive compulsive, spendthrift, spontaneous, crybaby... should I go on?