Butch/Femme Insemination and Family Dynamics
 

Bump
 

If anybody has any experience with artificial insemination we'd love to hear from you. Tcbbutch and I are planning on starting a family in the next year and stumbled across one problem. What would our child call my stone butch partner? I'm going to be mom of course but, we are trying to figure out a name for the kids to call hym. If you have any name ideas from your own experiences or know others that have done this too please throw out some ideas. We already talked about "dad" and that isn't what my partner really wants to go by. We'd really love to hear from individuals that have this experience but all responses welcome. Thank You!

Myself and my partner at the time, conceived my daughter through alternative insemination back in 1989. That moment of holding that baby in your arms and knowing that your love has helped give life to this precious being is simply THE most mind blowing experience-everything else literally fades into the background. My daughter is now a beautiful 21 year old woman with a lot of pride about her family of origin.

Although that relationship did not survive (we separated when my daughter was eight months old-we were very young), I would have to say that for the most part there were very positive experiences for her growing up.
My partner was Stone Butch and we talked about different parental names for her (I was mama), but settled on a masculine version of her name rather than daddy. With the partner I ended up parenting with, my daughter just called her by her first name.

There was a small group we went along to that had a list of donors. What we were doing was illegal, so no clinics or legal protection. We very much based our decisions on instinct and trust-because that is all we had.
We chose to go with a known donor, from that list, because we wanted to make sure she could contact the donor if she chose to. I felt very strongly about that, but everyone makes their own decisions based on what is essential to them. He has been an amazing friend and we actually consider him more like family, but only because it turned out so positively with him.

My daughter attended a Jewish school and did not suffer discrimination because of my sexual identity which i tried to make no big deal, but at the same time not hide.
One of the downsides was that given where we live (Australia) and the time that it was, there were very very few families like ours. I did try to link with other families but the groups were made up of women who had had their children through a previous heterosexual marriage or relationship, wherein the dynamics were quite different. I think that it would have been very affirming for her to have had those sorts of connections.

My best wishes on this truly amazing journey you are planning to embark on...

I think this thread was made for me :)

My ex-partner and I had a beautiful baby girl almost 6 years ago through artificial insemination who is the love of my life. We separated and 3 years later I re-married .... I am pleased to say, my wife and I have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl who is now 4 months old ...

My 3 girls (9, 6, and 4 months) called me Dadda and call my wife Mimma.

I will say that being a parent is not for everyone ... its a lifelong responsibility and will put a huge strain on your relationship ... but for me, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

Artificial insemination is a process ... the first time my partner was inseminated at the doctor's office. For my second child, we did it at home ... i inseminated my wife in the privacy of our home.

Both methods worked ... it will depend on your wife's age, her health, and her reproductive system.

PS - I forgot to mention ...

Both my daughter are my legitimate daughters and I am on their birth certificates. We did a second parent adoption for my first child and I was placed automatically on my second daughter's birth certificate since her mom and I are legally married.

Remember that with the privilege comes the responsibility ... i will be paying child support for my first child until she is 18 !!!

Hi TC,
I happened to meet someone who coincidently had been trying to get pregnant before we met and it actually took just about the time we met (so she told me anyway). Regardless, I don't really identify as "Daddi" to her or "Daddy" to a child but we would have taught the child to call me "Daddy" because although I am not male, I still take on that role in a child's life. To me, Daddy is more about what you do for the child and the role you play in their lives. I am the more masculine in a relationship and I represent the more masculine role in the family dynamic. I would not frown at being called "Mommy" however, hell I would just be glad to hear a lil boys or lil girls voice call out to me period.
Congratulations to you and your Lady. I wish you the very best bud.

My partner and I went through artifical insemination with an unknown donor via a clinic. (There is the option to 'find' the donor in the future if he agrees) When we went through this process we had to travel to another state (NSW) as it was illegal for same sex couples in Victoria at the time. It took 7 months with monthly injections to help with fertility before we were successful in falling pregnant and cost around A$1000 per month without the cost of petrol, and loss of wages to travel at a moments notice. It was worth every penny. We have a beautiful daughter whom we are so very proud of. It was an emotional rollercoaster though. Especially when we fell pregnant but then lost the pregancy early. My daughter calls me Rhi or Rheesy, we decided on this name as it comes from the word Rhiant in welsh, meaning parent. It would be nice to have a general name for the non bio parent throughout the community though, but thats my opinion :) Its funny but I do see myself in her, which I guess goes to show you that its not just biology that makes up a person. Wishing each of you love and success in creating a wonderful family of your own. ps: School has been fine with our family with no outward discrimination at all. The other children happily accept our daughters family makeup without blinking an eye and the other parents are fine too.