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-   -   Our Answers To Big Questions (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2729)

Blade 01-23-2011 11:35 AM

Our Answers To Big Questions
 
I have a book called The Little Book of Big Questions. It has some interesting questions for thought in it, also has the author's idea of an answer.

I'll post a question for discussion, probably not every day but once or twice a week. Lets hear your views, who knows we may come across something we need to make a new thread topic for.


Question #1 1-23-11

What makes people wish for things they don't have?

The_Lady_Snow 01-23-2011 11:38 AM

Greed, Lust, Desire, Fantasy, Fetishizing, Hunger.

Blade 01-23-2011 11:48 AM

Yep I thought of those things Snowy....I also thought of need.

Then again I thought of myself who has been quite blessed but still wish for things that I don't have. Certainly there are things I will never have. Then again there are things that will make my dreams and wishes come true.

I guess our wishes could be monetary, financial, emotional...could be a lot of things. But I think you are mostly right in your post. I think though we wish for things we don't have, the wishing gives us the drive to success, so that we can attain those wishes.

The_Lady_Snow 01-23-2011 11:57 AM

There's a difference between need and want, I answered from my own POV.. You're right though if you don't have what we call basic needs, then need is something I should of addressed.

Soft*Silver 01-23-2011 12:02 PM

I think its more complicated than just listing the seven deadly sins or a similar list.

if that were so, people of simplere cultures than ours would also covet things they did not have and that just isnt so across the board. At least not in the degree we Americans see. And not even across the board in all the strataspheres in our own culture. The key to coveting is in the degree of capitalism that one participates in or is subjected to. Before TV, if one was poor, people often claimed they didnt know they were poor and didnt care if the neighbors had more or less. In fact, if someone fell on hard times, they helped one another. Thus the beauty and long fascination with Its a Wonderful Life.

But along comes the era where there is a tv in every home...then in every room..then in every car...on now on our computers, which every person in the family now has one of. And if thats not enough, their personal phones can now access the web which accesses the media, which accesses all the global media you could dream of.

and what goes along with that?

commercials. We are a better fed consumer with more to select from. And we are creating faster than our wallets can keep up. And just as we acquire, the next new thing is created and we desire...

I am 54 and dirt poor. I have a very old dell laptop. I have a free cell phone that only can call and send texts. It looks like a half a candy bar. My sister just got some new fangled do dad and she is stuggling to make it stop saying whorehouse when she wants to say whitehouse. I am not coveting that. But others are. I have a threadworn couch. My niece who is on welfare took her tax check last year and bought a $2000 living room set. Because she coveted her sister's expensive leather living room set. She could have used that money to pay bills but she had to have the material thing to compensate her need to be as good as her sister. I didnt. I couldnt. I wouldnt have anyway. I like my old couch. I will probably have it until I die. It fits my personality and even if I somehow land alot of money, I could use that money to pay bills or add more seed to my bird feeders.

I dont watch alot of tv. I dont read alot of magazines. When I am on the computer I really dont go to places where there are commercials. I am not a product of capitalism. I dont covet. Except of course, for a horse.

So thats my answer...capitalism.

The_Lady_Snow 01-23-2011 12:13 PM

I don't subscribe to the Christian theory of "deadly sins" it's clearly obvious humans reek of greed. I posted from my own POV, which comes from my experiences of culture, race, classism and down right being honest with myself.

I want a Vespa, do I need one? No my greed wants it though black -n- pink...

moxie 01-23-2011 12:46 PM

It all depends on what one is wishing for. And if it is a want or a need. And there are different types of needs (look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs).

I have everything I need to meet my survival needs: food, shelter, clothing. If I had to wish for any of that, I would be wishing for it to survive.

If I wished for a blu-ray dvd player (which I do a teensy bit), it's because I want it. My materialistic self wants a fancy dvd player even though I can't notice the benefits of it because of my tv. Then I'll want an HDTV....it's just keeps going and building into the snowball rolling down the hill getting bigger and bigger.

I wish for a pseudo-family because my family disowned me. That meets my need for belonging. That is subjective though because not everyone needs the same things that I do in order to function on a healthy level and feel fulfilled.

So, I guess, what I am trying to say is that I believe what makes people wish for things are based on wants and needs. There are basic human needs and individual needs.

This makes sense to me, I don't know if it does to anyone else. :)

The_Lady_Snow 01-23-2011 12:50 PM

Makes sense!! You made me examine myself cause like you I looked for and have my chosen family out of need, not having made the want and need for me as a pack animal.

Blade 01-23-2011 12:50 PM

I agree with you both. I never had a TV in my room or a phone in my room and now days everyone in a house hold have their own personal everything. Greed desire and fantasy are also a driving force

I remember as a teen my girlfriend at the time had her own phone line she and her brother shared. In the phone book it said **** and under that it said kids line - - - . I thought that was cool and wanted my own phone...chuckling of course that didn't happen. We couldn't even get call waiting cuz you can only talk to one person at the time anyway.....or that's what my parents said.

I think I have been blessed, with a good paying job and my parents had good jobs when they worked. We weren't rich but we had all we needed and much that we wanted. There were those things we wanted and were told no or when you are grown and can afford this or that you can buy your own. Thus my motor head fetishes.

Really all I wish I had at this time that I don't need is a boat and a tractor. I need the tractor but I've been this long without one. Well and I wish I had the money to work on my house....it's getting to where that is a need.

I do believe much of our coveting comes from seeing what others have, and peer pressure.

Rockinonahigh 01-23-2011 01:09 PM

Im not shure if this is the right anser to the question,but hear is my take on things.
In another life a long time a go I had the passion for anything with horses,sepecialy rodeo's and horse shows.Over the years I acomplished many goals I set..almost.Shure I had some big winns at major events,rode and showed some fantastic horses over the years.I figured I colectively spent some where in the quarter million dollar range in bucks on horses,clothes to show them with,fancy silver mounted sadles with all the extras,the winter blankets and some that only were worn at the shows.Trucks,trailers..my last rig cost me $57,587.00.The truck was a big dully with all the bells and whistles..the trailes was a house on wheels for me and my equine buddy..no hotel for me cause the trailer had it all.I didnt think it would ever end,but it did and not like I wanted it to either..well folks it was a high fall with a crash and burn that I may not ever recover from.Oh,im not taking about money..its about what I started with,what I did along the way,the high ride for a long time...then health probs hit that just took it all away in a flash.Now dont think I havent tryed to get back in the swing of it,but cause of the health issues it hasnt worked out..im thinking it just wont happen no mater what I do.Yes,I keep pluging along and am doing ok.I live in a nice place,nice car,decent job with $$ in the bank..two fur kids that are the light of my life,my son who is the best thing I ever did in this world.But im still looking for the bits and peices of me that got lost along the way,if I dont find them I will be ok..just a little less of who I thought I was.

Blade 01-23-2011 08:30 PM

so it seems most of us wish for money, so we can have the things we wish for. Yep I'd be guilty of that. Truth is I have everything I need and wanting or wishing I had hasn't hurt me yet.

on another note, I'm sure there are folks that wish for personal things they don't have. I know I had several friends growing up that wished their family was like mine....as in they were from broken homes. Another friend wished her parents weren't alcoholics, course at the time I didn't realize mine were. So maybe all the things we wish for aren't necessarily concrete things.

Blade 01-24-2011 02:47 PM

Question #2
Why does money make some people proud and others humble?


Hmmm I guess I've had my proud moments about money and I've had my humble moments with it as well. Lemme think on this one.

The_Lady_Snow 01-24-2011 02:52 PM

Proud- you can do things for loved ones, give to those who have helped you

Humble- when you have nothing and then you're blessed, it alters your life and it's humbling or can be.

It all depends on the individual.

Blade 01-24-2011 06:22 PM

I think in the times I've been proud of my money is because I knew I earned it and I could do with it whatever I wanted to. Funny thing is I'm a simple person and when I've made/had plenty of money, I could go to the store or mall or whatever and not see a thing I couldn't live without. I don't buy name brand clothes or try to keep up with the Jones.

As a rule I'm more humbled when I have money and tend to share it.

Be back in a bit have a little issue going on

sylvie 01-24-2011 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade (Post 271628)
Question #2
Why does money make some people proud and others humble?


Hmmm I guess I've had my proud moments about money and I've had my humble moments with it as well. Lemme think on this one.


first off, love this thread Blade, thank you! something that makes me think & dust the cobwebs off this 'ol brain of mine =)

i can understand both aspects of it, money can make me proud, as well as humble.. i grew up in poverty, and lived in poverty for a duration of some years as a single mother - and am proud to have pushed myself to where i am today, because i strived for better.. i'm not rich (though i am rich in many other ways in life), but financially i still struggle here & there, but i am definitely proud when i have moments i can afford something so simple like a grocery order or maintaining my bills, and being able to save my money to purchase the things we need..

in the same sense, i am humbled by the fact i know the struggles well, and if i could take my last dollar to help another, i would & will do it in a heartbeat so long as it isn't a situation i don't feel as though i am disrespected or feel like i am being used.. i am learning to stretch my dollar as far as it will go, appreciating the smaller things in life and doing my best to help those who are where i have once been.. it's all about paying it forward..

did i stray from the question? i hope not, i know what i'm trying to say, lol.. Gabby girl at her finest right here..*smiles*

princessbelle 01-24-2011 07:04 PM

Hmmmm, am i not thinking about this correctly? Isn't being proud of anything at the same time being humbled? I mean if you are proud then IMO there is an inner sanctioned emotion that digs deep into a place that you've "earned" or "received" or "garnished" something that you once didn't have and feel good about that.

Isn't that being humbled too?

I would say if i ever had a lot of money, i would be both proud and humbled. .....At the same time.

Great thread.

Blade 01-24-2011 07:56 PM

OK issue over.....now I've lost my train of thought...happens when ya get my age....

Umm I'll tell you what has been real humbling for me is my financial situation the past 2 yrs. $5 is a lot of money when you need $6 for gas to go to work one more day before payday. I've been especially humbled by not having the financial resources I'm accustom to having.

Though I am a relatively humble person anyway, I will still be both proud and humbled by money when I get my financial feet back under me again.

Thank yall for posting and for sharing...

Gemme 01-24-2011 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade (Post 270896)
Question #1 1-23-11

What makes people wish for things they don't have?

A void. It may be emotional, spiritual, financial or psychological.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade (Post 271628)
Question #2
Why does money make some people proud and others humble?
[/B][/COLOR]

I think limiting the choices to just two is a bit of a disservice to the question. They could have worded it better, I think.

Money does a lot of things to people. If offers freedom, peace of mind, fear, insecurity, pride, greed, jealousy, hope, joy, et cetera and so on and so forth. It depends on each person's situation and their level of integrity.

Blade 01-24-2011 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme (Post 271807)
A void. It may be emotional, spiritual, financial or psychological.



I think limiting the choices to just two is a bit of a disservice to the question. They could have worded it better, I think.

Money does a lot of things to people. If offers freedom, peace of mind, fear, insecurity, pride, greed, jealousy, hope, joy, et cetera and so on and so forth. It depends on each person's situation and their level of integrity.

I didn't like the way it was worded either Gemme. I think for more people than not proud and humble are not words I'd typically use to describe people with money.

Blade 01-25-2011 03:02 PM

1-25-11 Question

Is there really such a thing as "the generation gap"? Why or Why not?


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