Help, need reassurance or advice, either would work
 

We've been planning babies since we got together and now we're finally there. We got a donor (two!) instead of going the clinic route as it's extremely slow and expensive unless you go private, which we can't afford. We're all set to inseminate and all was going well EXCEPT suddenly there is radio silence from both of our donors ...

One of them wasn't certain to begin with, but the other seemed really keen. Should I panic? I've still got ten days for one of them to resume contact.

Worried.

Oh shit.

:watereyes:

I hope it all works out for you!

Best!!!!

We found two to replace the one dick that we lost!!!!

Congrats on finding replacements!!!!

Good luck. I know someone that ended up going the adoption route because of costs and hassle. Another alternative I Suppose.

I hope you are being smart at this.....

*medical histories for your donor(s) going back a couple of generations..it can be truly important to know this stuff....

*legal paperwork around the sperm donor's involvement....money, religion, time with the kid once s/he/? is hatched, donor's parents involvement

you need to get this stuff in legal order or it will come back and bite you in the ass big time.....I've seen it happen.....it's not just him jacking off in a cup and you using a turkey baster to plant the sperm....

or if you are going to do it the old-fashioned way.....how is that gonna work and trust me it will have a big impact no matter what you think now...

what will the birth certificate say in the 'father' part?

be smart....seek legal counsel and get all the paperwork in order.....now before you get down to the actual business........I'm sure the UK has LGBTQ friendly legal folks who deal with this stuff all the time and work sliding scale if you need it....

Toughy gave you great advice I hope you consider all of it.


But for sure you need to relax. You won't drop any eggs if you're anxious and stressed. Take care of yourself, relax your body and mind, focus on getting really healthy. Rather focus outside on things you can't control, focus on the vessel- YOU and prepare. You will naturally and most certainly draw the right child to you.

The UK provides a lot of protection for LGBT parents now. We're meeting them off donor sites so most of them have done all of their testing, or know what to do anyway. The donor we eventually went with was motivated by his sister needing a donation in order to have kids. I'm quite glad now we lost our original donor as the two replacements actually seem much better people, more knowledgeable about the law and their own family history.

Thank you, I'm trying!

Congratulations!!!
Look forward to hearing the baby news when it arrives. :)

Best wishes to you and yours on your pregnancy adventures. My wife and I went through it and started out with triplets and ended up with twins! We used a donor through a cyro bank. Our first 2 attempts were IUI and unsuccessful. Not to mention more expensive. (having to buy 2 vials at once for each attempt that was "washed") Our 3rd attempt was via IVF and was successful! Using a donor through the cyro bank I had to sign a waiver stating I take full responsibility for the baby. As if I was the actual father, and that I could not seek any kind of child support or whatnot from the donor. My wife signed as well. With that being said. When my girls were born my name is on thier birth certificate as the 2nd parent. No "adoption" needed or "donor" remarks on their certificates either. It is a life changing experience and I would not change that for anything in the world. They are my pride and joy. Best of luck on your journey. ~bear~