Butch Femme Planet - Pride, the month, the holiday...what does it mean to you?

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Pride, the month, the holiday...what does it mean to you?

I was writing to a friend (nycfembbw) today and on a sharp intake of breath wondered to myself had I wished her a Happy Pride, yet? Of course I wished her one immediately, but it got me to thinking about how important June being Pride month has become to me.

I was a slow adapter and didn't quite comprehend the depth of what Gay Pride is for our community and/or for me personally at first, but for awhile now I look forward to a time of celebration, contemplation and satisfaction. Not that don't feel those things all year long, but June holds a special place in my heart now.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences concerning the celebration of Pride

and to everyone

HAPPY PRIDE

I take Pride so much more for granted than I did as a teenager in Ohio. My circle in NYC is so LGBTQ (including my only sibling) that I don't feel the same awareness of Pride month. I looked at the list of groups marching this year in the Pride Parade, and I was most touched to see all the high schools listed. I was the only one out in my high school, and the worker at the LGB hotline in Ohio told me that there was only a group for gay boys because girls don't usually come out that young. It was very isolating, and I did anything to be seen. I had quite the collection of t-shirts I wore and bumper stickers I put on my car: "On a Queer Day You can see forever," "The Goddess is Alive and Magic is Afoot!" and "ACT UP." While the police seemed to frequently stop my car, once I had a woman leave a note to me taped to my car saying how much she and her partner liked seeing my bumper stickers. All of us queers were craving Pride!

Here in NYC I rarely go to the Pride events, wanting to avoid the crowds. This weekend my step-son (BB's son) Jacob and his boyfriend Kevin are coming for the weekend. It'll be nice to be around that youthful gay energy! And tonight BB talked me into going to our LGBTQ synagogue, and I'm looking forward to hearing Kate Bornstein speak (author of books such as Gender Outlaw and HELLO, CRUEL WORLD: 101 ALTERNATIVES TO SUICIDE FOR TEENS, FREAKS, AND OTHER OUTLAWS ). Meanwhile, my mom and I spent all day in stitches (laughing), calling each other and sharing ideas of rhyming made up slogans to encourage condom use (too embarrassing to post here), since she has been assigned to hand out dental dams and condoms at the PFLAG table of the Pride Parade in Ohio.

Remember: It gets better!

Happy Pride to everyone! :)

I have to say, over the past ten years or so I stopped really feeling the whole Pride thing. I work pretty much every weekend and never make it to the parade anymore which, in Boston at any rate, was becoming mostly church groups and corporate clubs, i.e., "Citizens Bank Wishes You a Happy Pride!" Right. Even the Ramrod toned their float down.

But this year, for some reason, I was really feeling it. I work at a hotel filled with gay men, and this year something just sparked. We were all passing each other in the corridors wishing each other a happy Pride - it was very sweet. So a group of us got together after work at the Fritz block party and met each others' partners and spouses and friends - very impromptu, very casual - and I realized, I haven't done this in years!

I think that living where I live and working where I work might have led to a certain degree of complacency on my part, whereby Pride has turned into a sort of "beentheredonethat" moment. But I remember when I was sixteen and trying to come out in a rural Wisconsin town without getting killed. My girlfriend and I snuck away to go to Pride in Madison, and it felt like such a subversive, political act. And in too many places, celebrating Pride is still a subversive, political act.

So I'm re-embracing Pride and all of the cultural heritage that goes along with it. Because I am proud of who I am, and proud of my wife, and proud of the state I live in, and I'm even proud of Citizens Bank. And I'm intensely proud of all of the remarkable gay people who paved my easy, easy road and made it possible for me to be complacent about Gay Pride.

Ummmm hmmm I don't wish people a happy pride. So, I didn't vote because that wasn't an option.

It's not that I don't want people to have a wonderful time at pride etc...it just doesn't roll off the tongue or even something I think to even say *shrugs*

If I do, it's something I tend to do on the FB, I'm not "out" as family here unless it's to my medical providers. And even that's iffy, because I don't wear my binder all the time going out. (Sometimes it's more pain than it's worth if it's hot, or it presses on my shunt tubing.)
I really miss living somewhere larger and more progressive. Yes Columbus is not that far away but sometimes it feels like a planet away!

~SAB

I call Pride "Gay Christmas", and I gripe to my employer about not having it off work. I tell everyone, gay or straight, "Happy Pride" or "It's Gay Christmas -- be merry and bright". :)

I live in Oklahoma, so Pride is like the Running of the Queers. All the people from all these tiny towns drive hours and hours just to come be themselves for a weekend.

It's kind of a shame that we have to even have such a thing as Pride month or parades. The energy is great when I do participate. I don't ever think to say Happy Pride unless someone says it first. That works the same with me for Christmas and other holidays. I'm glad pride month and happy pride are there for the people that need it. I was way into pride when I was younger. I had rainbows everywhere lol. Every once in awhile I will go to the festivities because I'm interested in people, but I don't make it a point to go like I used to.

I've never done a Pride event anywhere despite usually living in cities with fairly large annual Prides and travelling extensively. In fact, I avoid Pride events - for example, when travelling to San Francisco last June, I ensured I booked for a time outside of Pride and, similarly, I do so when travelling to San Diego etc.

I'm based here in London which is this year's venue for World Pride and, although I'm involved in some groups that will be marching on the day, I won't be a part of it.

Although the above may come across as negative or an attempt to knock Pride, it's genuinely not meant to. I appreciate that it's important and affirming to many. It just isn't to me but, for those for whom it is, I wish you all a great 2012 Pride !

I'm not sure why I'm posting this here other than gay men's Pride and culture seems to me to track alongside Butch femme Pride and culture, so here it goes

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/22/op...e.html?_r=1&hp

I don't think I've ever wished anyone a Happy Pride, but I may start to do so from now on, and see how it goes, it's different over here, the smaller local prides are less to do with politics, etc and more to do with people from all different aspects of the community getting the chance to get together and celebrate who we are, most just want a decent day where they can have some drinks, meet old mates and potentially make new mates too.

This year most of the high holy days of gay (ok all of them) have had to be skipped for me. I am taking a very intense summer chemistry course as well as several gerontology seminars that don't leave me any moments for frivolity or celebration. What I have had instead is many short intense moments for reflection.

We don't live in a world of full equality, but we've come a damn long way from Stonewall and the times before and after. We have medical clinics (not enough) with specialists who have dedicated themselves to queer medicine. We have more art installations, movies, TV characters, artists and writers than ever before. We have queer police officers, fireman, and politicians. We have an army of allies, a generation of young people who refuse to believe the rhetoric of the right and we have a President who changed his mind, admitting it for the world to witness.

So as I return to building organic chemical models and putting together a veritable library of LGBT gerontology information to take back to Hawaii with me I'm grateful.

I'm grateful The.Gay.Beach (aka Delores Park), the TransMarch and the DykeMarch celebratory festivities ie. drinking->drinking->drinking celebrating->celebrating->celebrating will be around when I'm done with school. (For the sake of my sanity I'm going to assume they will be.)

I'm grateful for the older queers who braved the way before me and unflinchingly support my academic endeavors.

I'm grateful for my generation who celebrates these high holy holidays with abandon when I can't.

I'm grateful for the generation coming up behind me - because it just keeps getting better.

!!!!HAPPY PRIDE!!!!

June has been a busy time in my life - birthdays, anniversaries, Father's Day, school going into the third week of the month, Juneteenth, Pride, and multiple national conferences I would like to go to ---and sometimes do and sometimes don't...for me and how I like to live my life, too many choices...too much.

I take very seriously, one's development of identity, culture, and one's decisions as to how to be in the self and act in in communnity.

And I take even more seriously the "State," the government, and what liberties it grants or withholds.

And I am indebted to those who have been beaten, arrested, imprisoned, killed, unemployed, hated, ostracized, and isolated and stood up to all the things that people do to each other for people not being the way we think they should be.

I have received much in this life for others actions and I am very present with those Blessings. I am glad for Pride AND I don't have such a celebratory attitude because I do not see the Liberty that I believe should exist.

This thread has brought me to thinking about creating a Rainbow Juneteenth family reunion of some sort.....hmmmm.....

Thanks Sherrie :praying:

I came out as "gay" or "lesbian", I guess, in 1979, while in the USMC. It was "on the quiet" because being in the military and being GLBTQ was a huge no-no and you could lose a military career over it. I knew and know quite a few good Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, but not so many Airmen (simply because I haven't been around them as much) who got ejected by the military simply because they were not heterosexual. I even know a couple of STRAIGHT folks who suffered being investigated by the Naval Investigative Service, otherwise known as "NIS" during the infamous witch hunts that went on during the 70's and 80's. All but one of my own Drill Instructors from Parris Island MCRD were thrown out after a big witch hunt investigation that went on in 1981. It was horrible.

I remember parking a mile or more from a gay bar in Oceanside, San Diego, Los Angeles, and Palm Springs, CA, in order to avoid the NIS agents who stood outside, on the watch for cars to pull up outside of the gay bars with military stickers on them. Once they had your name, there was a good chance that you'd get pulled in for investigation, or your name would be used in the many lies that the NIS agents would give to those under investigation as a means to coerce a confession from them. You never used your military ID as an age verifier to get into a gay bar. You did that and they had your name, too. This past year, the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy ended and things changed for gays and lesbians in the military. I never thought I'd ever see that, but there it is and that brings me profound joy. I think of all those I knew who were ejected from the military, sometimes with an "other than honorable" discharge, which meant that they didn't get Veterans' benefits, for no other reason than for being gay. I see their faces in my memories now, and it can bring me down if I let it. Then I feel the joy again. I think of how things were then, and then I come back to how good this all is now and how very strong our community is, now that we've all come together into one big loving, vibrant force.

So much has changed in the 33 years since I first came out. I no longer identify as "gay". I'm a queered straight transman who happens to be attracted to women and I'm kind of invisible now. Hey, I understand how some of our Femmes feel now, with the invisibility thing. I see a lot of things both ways now. I think that is a gift, really. Some things you just never understand until you've walked on both sides of the fence. I've seen soooo much change in my years walking through this life. Sometimes I look back and I don't recognize the person I was 30+ years ago. I remember the struggle, though, and the feelings. I remember being shamed and my mother telling me that "there are names for people like YOU." She's evolved since then, I'm happy to say.

This is why I think Pride is important. Now, I have never been to a Pride event. I'm almost ashamed to tell any of you this, I must admit. I have always looked at this community as being proud and outspoken and, well, a community of activists, so to speak. There are so very many, many smart articulate good people here. I'm pretty proud of that!! I've only been a member of this group since about 2005 (over 2 web sites), but in these past 7 years, I've learned that being who we are is a source of pride and strength....at least for me it has been. It's peeled back a lot of layers of shame and marginalization that I felt for all those years of hiding and all the negative comments I've had to listen to all that time. More importantly, I think that since more of us have stepped forward and become visible, we are becoming a lot less marginalized and even more heterosexual folks have stepped forward in support of us and our quest to be treated equally. Visibility is a powerful tool, and it is important for us to live our lives honestly and openly, and be who we are. Only that will lift the veil of ignorance, hate and fear that is really at the root of all the bigotry, homophobia, transphobia, etc. What's that saying?? "Open your mind and heart and your ass will follow"?? Yeah, that's it.

So, about Pride......

I never thought I'd ever see this happen, but it did:

I think, for me, the above made my stepping out, becoming visible and demanding to be treated equally......all worth it. You know, it took a whole lot of courage to do what our GLBTQ community has done over the years. We got that kind of courage from each other, and there is strength in numbers. We have done this, we have moved forward together. That's what we can be proud of.

So yes, Happy Pride to all of us!!! If you're so inclined, get out in the street, wave flags, hug on each other, share your joy and do your part to celebrate in whatever way you choose. Me?? I have to work on Las Vegas' Pride weekend, so I can't attend, but that doesn't mean that I'm not feeling it in my heart, because I do. We have so very, very much to be proud of and it's so worth celebrating. :winky::LGBTQFlag:

~Theo~ :bouquet:

Meet Gilbert Baker, the Man Who Invented the Gay Pride Rainbow Flag

June is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender pride month, and the rainbow flag — that iconic symbol for gay pride — is flying from Athens to San Francisco to Brazil.

Enter artist Gilbert Baker, the man who first came up with the flag’s design some 34 years ago. After being discharged from the Army during the Vietman War, Baker settled in San Francisco, where he taught himself to sew and soon began crafting banners for gay marches and events, CBS Chicago reports. He eventually befriended Harvey Milk, the city’s first openly gay elected official. Given Baker’s influential role in the gay community, in 1978 the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade commissioned him to design a new symbol that could be used year after year. Hoping to represent diversity and acceptance, Baker soon settled on the image of a rainbow.

So Baker set to work, originally producing a version of the flag with eight stripes, each color with a distinct meaning: pink for sex, red for life, orange for healing, yellow for sunlight, green for nature, blue for art, indigo for harmony, and violet for the human spirit. The color pink was not widely available for commercial use at the time, so it was dropped — as, eventually, was indigo — to give the flag an even six stripes.

Although Baker’s design that has seen consistent recognition and served as a worldwide symbol of the LGBT movement, he said flags are “something that everyone owns and that’s why they work. The Rainbow Flag is like other flags in that sense, it belongs to the people.” And indeed, the flag is in the public domain, thus enabling infinite commercial reproduction on everything from beach towels to neckties to dog collars.

Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/06/26/...#ixzz1yvwKIwor

I guess for me, Pride is a time to get out and hang with like minded individuals, LGBT people and network. When I say "Happy Pride" it is for visibility and somewhat political. I want people to be aware that I or others are celebrating something we believe in and "are" which is LGTB.

HAPPY PRIDE !!

Pride against those who would take it away.

We almost lost our Pride this year. Due to a colossal mistake by the Pride organisers we found out one week before the day that Pride could possibly be cancelled.

Pride denied this.

The next day we found out they were in serious financial difficulty and as a result, Pride was going to be massively scaled down. No floats and no parties in the local gay area.

It gets worse.

Our mayor then tried to stop one of our iconic members of the community from speaking at pride, an opposing politician had to step in to overcome the ban, then the same mayor blocked two high profile sponsors from solving the finance problem. Basically our mayor and his party were trying to kill pride.

Despite that we marched! There were a mile and a half of us marching right through town. Bars in the local gay area defied a council ban and played music and allowed their patrons to party outside. The 'official' pride area was packed. My favourite gay charity gave away 3,000 stickers and almost 2,000 flyers in just over an hour. It was an amazing day.

Still on a high the next day I looked on Facebook. Of course THERE were the people complaining that instead of pride they'd felt shame. Instead of having a good day they'd wished it had all been cancelled. And instead of wishing to support pride and everything it stood for, they were angry that the organisers, charities and volunteers had fought so hard to keep it going ahead.

People really piss me off.

No I don't. Every year I look forward to Pride, and then every year I'm reminded of way there is so much fucked up about Pride. This year I seem more cynical than usual, though.

Its become a recent tradition here that the week before Pride begins, political queers organise a march that speaks out against the corporate, often exclusive and anti-political nature of Pride. This year was the pre-Pride Night March which was great and definitely successful. Given the problems Pride has had with the city since Ford was elected, I think a focus on political, unsanctioned marches that are pointedly inclusive are really important.

Really made important by the nature of the sanctioned Trans March this year, which was really disappointing and completely disrespectful. The unsanctioned march was just really hard to find at its starting point since it began after the sanctioned one instead of at the same time.

And the general attendance seems every year more frequented by straight couples monopolizing the space and straight cis guys desperately attempting to pick up queer women. Really sickening. I think "my Pride" began and ended with the Night March, I don't want much to do with the sanctioned, hetero/cis-"appropriate" party party Pride.

The one positive thing about this year's Pride, though, is organisers didn't heed city hall's attempts to ban QUAIA from participating in Pride again. Probably the only group that is both present in the unsanctioned activities and also managing to reinsert politics back into Pride.

i've never been to pride and i don't really have strong associations with it.

in my queer muslim circles we call it eid-ul-queer...i.e., like muslim gay christmas ;) and we wish each other happy eid-ul-queer.

but i've never lived anywhere with a big pride - most people go out of town for pride where i've lived, and i couldn't go. i guess i associate participating in pride with my friends who live in locations with huge pride events (i love seeing the pictures on facebook), and with having financial ability/mobility to be able to travel to pride, which is something a lot of people i know don't have. i "come home" to my queer family at a couple of other events throughout the year...for me those events hold the symbolism that pride seems to hold for many people.

i help organize a local queer youth group...since there isn't a pride parade in lawrence, we organized a small pride parade here this year that was entirely put on by queer and trans* middle and high school youth. unfortunately i got sick and couldn't go. i'm looking forward to seeing it grow next year, though :)