Butch Femme Planet

Butch Femme Planet (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/index.php)
-   Quotes, Snippets, Other Writing (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=114)
-   -   Bootsandheels...My blogs, and poetry (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3792)

Bootsandheels 09-04-2011 04:11 PM

Bootsandheels...My blogs, and poetry
 
Hi everyone! I'm a big blogger over on the BF site, and wanted to start getting more involved over here...I hope you will find my stuff interesting and a good read. I have a large fan base over at BF...LOL. I just write from the depths of my femme heart...I hope you will enjoy.

Bootsandheels 09-04-2011 04:14 PM

Femme Unbound
 
I have finally hit that last layer…the last piece of bonded amalgam between me and my stone butch ex that bonded us together in a way that only we as butches and femmes can become bonded.

It’s truly remarkable to me, this bond…it’s like a metal alloy-two distinct and pure forms of metal being bonded together under incredible heat and force. I would never have known just how strong this bond was until I was forced to undergo the unbonding process over this last year.

Nothing…nothing compares with the bond of a butch and a femme. It is sacred, unique and goes beyond what we can grasp or understand at times.
The quality of this bond far exceeds that of any other relationship we know in my humble opinion. I’ve been married to men twice, had my initial girlfriend experience, and then met my first butch. We were engaged for 5.5 yrs and she never married me, but I was more married to her and more bonded than in any other relationship I have ever known. Not until now…going through the excruciating pain of unbonding have I truly and fully understood this fact.

It was a picture…several actually, of her and her new love…at a dance (of course) that I happened upon online. She looked happy, newly in love, and with someone far tanner, more toned and shorter than me. It felt like a laser had just sliced through me…dividing a part of me from myself…like a limb or an organ. It was so sudden I didn’t even feel the intensity of the pain until later…my heart, body and soul couldn’t quite register what my eyes were seeing. It was a clean amputation, complete with bloodless laser cautery.

There is a phonomena known as “ghost limb” pain…where an amputee can still feel with alarming accuracy the limb that has been amputated-even years afterwards. I believe this will happen less and less that I realise it’s really gone, over and done with, but some of the ghost pain will remain…at least for awhile. This is the price we pay…for that bondedness we so desire and are sometimes blessed and privileged to experience.

In doing my research on the separation of metal alloys, I ran across a thread (at bottom) that describes how there are really only two ways for alloys to be separated; chemically or physically. It was interesting to note that the best suggestion was to just purchase the pure elements, because the other methods took an incredible amount of energy.

I am returning to my purest femme form, no fragments left behind. It’s only in our purest forms as radiant compliments of one another that we can reform a new bond…

To me this is the greatest lesson and one of incredible hope to hang onto.

Boots

http://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=245677


Lkf 9/2011

Bootsandheels 09-04-2011 04:22 PM

Femme Reunion (This was written just before the above :) )
 
It’s been almost exactly a year to the day that I’ve seen my ex.

It was a new moon…the kind that sits like a bright white fingernail crescent in the sky…then perches low on the horizon waiting til dawn to quietly slip away.

A date night…a rare chance for me to go dancing which is something I was born to do, but don’t do often enough anymore.
A once a month women’s dance called a “Hotflash Dance”…where there’s a whole helluva lot more going on than
just a lack of estrogen…

I had just come in with my date, and I saw her cross to my left…going to the bar. I had to do that “Is that really her” thing for a few seconds to ascertain that indeed it was…and what was I going to do about it.

So ya, the choice…to ignore her or to touch her, which in that split second’s maze of time I chose to do …on the sleeve, ever so gently like I used to, to get her attention and then hold it with that look of love I had
only for her. I beamed with love, standing serenely in my femme strength and light that I had worked so hard to achieve over this past year.

As she turned and saw me…her face looked like she was seeing an angelic vision or a ghost-perhaps both. The room, the pulsating music, all disappeared and everything became blurry around us…all we saw was each other’s face and light in our eyes- a ‘movie moment’ that had happened only once before…the day we met 6.5 years ago.

She stood there, about 8-10’ from me…looking at me…mouth open…and finally managed to say…”You look gorgeous… Oh my God…Do you realise it‘s been a year since I‘ve seen you?”
She slowly made her way towards me with off-balance steps-either feigning for dramatic effect or real from the alcohol she had consumed, I wasn’t sure. I think it was a little of both-she always had a comedic side, which I loved, that she would bring out around me, and she always had a problem with alcohol.

We met in AA and both had the same amount of time-4 years.
A year ago last December after picking up her 9 year chip, she picked up a six-pack, and has never looked back.
I looked furtively at her hand that held a beer that she placed on a small table nearby.
As I opened my ‘ballerina arms’ as she called them to embrace her, we slowly moved towards one another once again…a beginning to a dance we both knew so very well.

Her freshly pressed beautiful shirt, her body, her short bleached hair and her cologne…all so familiar and comfortable. With each second that passed I began to melt and mold into her frame , her bones for checkpoints, like magnets no longer able to resist the pull.
We held on for a long time…and I stepped in closer with that one tiny step that I would always take to adjust for my height, for a tighter fit. She squeezed a little tighter, hung on a little longer than I expected.

She always said she could feel my heart beating right through my chest all the way to hers when we hugged, and mine was doing crazy acrobatic flips doubletime. I tried to breathe and slow it down..but it wasn’t possible…breathing…heart rate…all non-negotiable now.
A scene like this had played out not so long ago…in a counseling office.. both of us crying…hanging on to one another for dear life…when the reality hit that our life together was ending. She wouldn’t stop the drinking, I wouldn’t live with it.

Upon re-entry to the world…the room..our surroundings…she bowed her head in embarrassment while slowly pulling away.
I motioned to my date whose back was to us, and the introductions were made. As I watched them, I felt an incredible combination of elation, shock, victory and defeat all at the same time.

And so I danced…with my funky balletic grace, and bringing sexy back femme moves, I danced…I smiled so big and danced so big I WAS the firework in Katy Perry’s song.

I was on a sugar dancing high…my body was on fire, my mind and spirit awhirl with delight as they reconnected with the pulsating beat of my healing heart and reunited my sweet femme soul strutting in her stillettos out on the dance floor…leaving them all going "Ah ah ah…"

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw"]Katy Perry - Firework - YouTube[/nomedia]
Boots

6/5/2011 lkf

clay 09-04-2011 06:57 PM

Hey Boots...I LOVED your work at Dash, so will here as well....good to see you again..and you are awesome!!! Clay
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bootsandheels (Post 411726)
Hi everyone! I'm a big blogger over on the BF site, and wanted to start getting more involved over here...I hope you will find my stuff interesting and a good read. I have a large fan base over at BF...LOL. I just write from the depths of my femme heart...I hope you will enjoy.


Bootsandheels 09-05-2011 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by claybabytwo (Post 411861)
Hey Boots...I LOVED your work at Dash, so will here as well....good to see you again..and you are awesome!!! Clay


Hey Clay! Thank you so much for this! What is Dash? Not familiar with that I think-so please fill me in if my work is showing up somewhere I don't know about...? Thanks again for welcoming me and my work here!

clay 09-05-2011 08:49 AM

Morning there Boots! You are most welcome. Dash is that "other" site you mentioned (BF). I heard everyone else calling it "Dash" so I do, too! Sorry if I have confused you!! Keep on writing hun!!! LOVE it! Clay
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bootsandheels (Post 411983)
Hey Clay! Thank you so much for this! What is Dash? Not familiar with that I think-so please fill me in if my work is showing up somewhere I don't know about...? Thanks again for welcoming me and my work here!


Bootsandheels 09-05-2011 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by claybabytwo (Post 412049)
Morning there Boots! You are most welcome. Dash is that "other" site you mentioned (BF). I heard everyone else calling it "Dash" so I do, too! Sorry if I have confused you!! Keep on writing hun!!! LOVE it! Clay

Ohhhh!!! Ok...THANKS! So funny I've never heard it called that before! Thanks so much for your support and encouragement Clay! Big femme hugs! Have a lovely rest of your weekend!

clay 09-05-2011 03:44 PM

Hi Ya Boots: You, again, are very welcome. Or as we said in Hawaii..."mahalo". Yea that was funny..."dash"....
I am having a wonderful long weekend. Keep that pen smoking, dahlink! I am a FAN for life!!!! Clay
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bootsandheels (Post 412192)
Ohhhh!!! Ok...THANKS! So funny I've never heard it called that before! Thanks so much for your support and encouragement Clay! Big femme hugs! Have a lovely rest of your weekend!


Bootsandheels 09-16-2011 03:38 AM

"Femme Rooted"
 

Femme Rooted (Endless...)

When does it end…these gut wrenching sobs…
With pain so deep my need to breathe is robbed
An endless ache of sleepless nights with no dreams
A black hole of sky
A cold moon without her moonbeams…

When does it stop?
(How did it start?)
endless memories of you and me…

So happy…so desperately in love…never dreaming we would ever be apart
(someone jumpstart my heart…please…just jumpstart my heart…)

Why can’t we pull out those deep roots of love-
the ones that go so far down…
we never know where they really go…
but they go…
and they grow…

growing deep down to the beautiful place…
The beautiful-unconditional-love-place…
The beauty-within-ourselves (and others)-place…
The have-no-words-(don’t need any)-for-it-place…
No-address-or-map-for-this-love’s-journey-or-destination-place…
A place…to call Home…
yes that we might…just might (get to) come home…

Still it grows and it goes…
deeper and deeper still
Anchoring and curling…
back around our hearts securing…
battening down hatches and tightening latches
against a storm’s rage and tidal waves
From the world and how we each behave…
(Towards one another…)

When did it start
(Will it ever stop?)
This endless love between you and me…

So alone…dreaming of lost love…
never dreaming we would be apart...
(someone jumpstart my heart- please…just jumpstart my heart…)

Why can’t I pull out these deep roots of love-
the ones that go so far down
I never know where they really go…
but they go…
and they grow…

Growing deep down through the pain back to love place
The beautiful-unconditional-love-you-always-place…
The beauty-to-love-myself-and-love-(someone new)-place…
No-address-or-map-for-new-love’s-journey-or-destination-place…

A place…to call Home…
yes that I might…just might (get to) come home…

Still it grows and it goes…
deeper and deeper still
Without my permission
or any willing submission
I’ll fall down and lay down
New seedlings of my love
And show the world how it’s done…

That the roots of love won…



lkf 9/16/2011

Bootsandheels 09-16-2011 09:19 AM

Since B-F is down...I'm posting my monthly blog here for those interested and subscribed!

hopelessromantic69 09-16-2011 02:01 PM

I understand
 
Amazing Boots as always!! Big hugs!
I know this place all too well. I hope someday to be free of that pain or plant my own seed of love won.

Bootsandheels 09-16-2011 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopelessromantic69 (Post 418961)
Amazing Boots as always!! Big hugs!
I know this place all too well. I hope someday to be free of that pain or plant my own seed of love won.

Thank you so much HR!!! *muah...kotc!

Bootsandheels 09-17-2011 04:10 PM

From the beginning...my first blogs from B-F
 
I started with this series-"Because I am Femme..." Hope you enjoy and let me know-I love feedback!

Because I am Femme #1

Because I am femme I can feel your eyes on me from across the room and you can smell me a mile away...and I haven't even met you...yet.

Because I am femme I know just where to love you, touch you, caress you with heart pounding at the honor and privilege of it even though it may change daily...

Because I am femme I will defend you to those who would seek to ridicule you or make fun of us by getting (sweetly) in their faces and teaching them about who we are...

Because I am femme I allow you the honor to hold me when I cry, gently caressing my tears and blotting my smeared mascara away...

Because I am femme I grin at the men who stare in wonder at me with you and with one look, and the way I carry myself with you they know why...

Because I am femme I take pride in how I look, and wear what looks stunning on me in and out of the bedroom...

Because I am femme I take pleasure in fixing a delicious meal with you or for you and having it ready when I can...

Because I am femme I allow you to take the lead if you want it and if you don't, my step is right in tune with yours...

Because I am femme I adore you from afar...watching your stance, your swagger, your smile, your scent...blushing when you catch me at it...fanning myself...

Because I am femme you notice my crossed legs when I sit, my strut in my heels, my only-for-you-smile and hint of beautiful lingerie peeking out of my dress...

Because I am femme I lift you up when you are down and immerse you in the strength, love and courage you need for another day "out there"...

Because I am femme I know that the your greatest pleasure is in pleasing me...and I let go...more and more...and watch the delight on your face and in your body...

Because I am femme I will try to be very patient, loving, and kind with you when you make really stupid mistakes, and am always aware of your tender butch ego...

Because I am femme I eagerly allow you to shove me hard against a wall kissing me passionately all the while knowing I'm the one who is still really in control...

Because I am femme I will always be a lady and act like one, whether with or without you...

Because I am femme I am strong and secure in myself and do not need you to constantly remind me...but love it when you choose to...

Because I am femme I am aware of your needs, especially for understanding, trust, loyalty, honesty and know when to step up...

Because I am femme I will not let you kill my lovely spiders, but carry them out of the house...but the sugar ants you may always kill immediately...lol

7/24/2010 lkf


Bootsandheels 09-17-2011 04:15 PM

Because I am Femme #2
 
Because I am Femme #2

Because I am Femme...I will go shopping with you in the men's or young men's department, guarding you from rude salespeople and stares and giving you my undivided attention and honest commentary, not letting you walk out that door with anything that doesn't look amazing on you...

Because I am Femme...I will stand patiently in the endless hardware aisles with you and learn all I can about tools...when I really know I can do it too...I just need a nail file, hammer and scissors...for most anything...oh and duct tape...

Because I am Femme...I will always look at you adoringly when someone looks at you funny or with a grimace from across the room, the street, in an airport or wherever...I am your guardian angel and have stilettos to wield if necessary and will if need be...not to mention a very high kick in the right area...

Because I am Femme...if you ask, I will accompany you into the women's bathroom which is your minefield unless you choose the other one for that day...it's up to you and I won't say a word about it...

Because I am Femme...I will remember family birthdays, anniversaries, etc. etc. and make sure that your family and mine are cared for and remembered...I make you (and us) look good, but really take delight in doing all those little things that you consider quite annoying and time consuming...

Because I am Femme...I will always give you the once over before you head out that door and make sure that there is nothing out of place, out of whack, or whatever...you are my butch and it's my job baby! and...I expect that same courtesy only with no snide remarks or rudeness if I am "Off" that day...

Because I am Femme...Your femme...I won't flirt...or do anything like it...because we are bonded, and that is a very very rare gift indeed...you will always know where I am in a room full of people (because I am the proverbial social butterfly)...but...if you give me that one "look" I will be by your side..in an instant.

Ok...so that's my second installment....hmmm (ponders more while going car shopping...)

7/26/2010
lkf



Bootsandheels 09-17-2011 04:19 PM

Because I am Femme #3
 
Because I am Femme #3

Struts back in...(proud of myself for walking away from nasty used car salesmen)...looks around...removes high heeled sandals and curls up on sofa...

Because I am Femme...I delight in the fact that you are mesmerized by watching me put on my make-up, and I am equally so...by your facial expressions reflected in the mirror...

Because I am Femme...I will stand up to you in my Femme Power if you are ever mean or controlling with me, reminding you that we are still equals when it comes right down to it...and we should always endeavor to maintain mutual love and respect...or I will strut proudly...dignity intact...right out that door...

Because I am Femme...I will take the incredible amount of time, energy and effort that it takes to button, fasten, snap, clip, tie, untie, hook, unhook, and shimmy...all the special lingerie and other things that you adore on me...knowing that within 5 mins it comes off...usually...lol...and it was SO worth it...and always will be...! Because I am Femme...I am a grand chameleon...I am sometimes invisible...sometimes not...and that can often be a good or a bad thing...but I always know who I am and so do you...always.


7/26/2010
lkf

Bootsandheels 09-17-2011 04:21 PM

Because I am Femme #4
 
Because I am Femme #4

(Quietly pads into room...barefeet today...no makeup...hair askew...some random thoughts)

Because I am Femme...I appreciate your integrity, honesty, gentleness, courtesy and boldness...especially when given permission to enter the sacred vault of my complicated heart...

Because I am Femme...I so appreciate your strong heart, strong arms, and strong mind to keep up with mine...

Because I am Femme...truly Femme...I feel it from the inside out, not the outside in...and couldn't imagine being anything else...ever.

Because I am Femme...I will quietly and confidently look for you until I find you, patiently waiting...knowing that at the right moment you will appear someday right when you are supposed to, and we will both know it almost instantaneously...

Because I am Femme...I am a hopeless romantic with my head in the clouds...just like you...I refuse to give up hope...

(Pads out of room to get dressed...and repeat my calming ritual of putting on my make-up, the "right" pair of heels, jeans...fixing my hair, even though you are not there...yet.)

Boots

7/29/2010
lkf

Bootsandheels 09-17-2011 04:25 PM

Because I am Femme #5
 


(Home from the movies, had to fight to take off tight new boots...lol...quietly contemplating the evening's events pretzeled up at the computer desk...)


Because I am Femme...I catch myself hoping and wondering that the boyish looking young person with the slightly wider hips in the movie line in front of me is really a butch...

Because I am Femme...I laugh at myself when I realise that he is not...and realise that I do this everyday...hoping...lol

Because I am Femme...and single, I have a unique and timely opportunity to decide what kind of relationship I want and need and am enjoying the dynamic in a whole new way...dating! OMG...

Because I am Femme...I can run and hide from all of this if I choose and still be me and still be desireable-for myself first and then for that special someone out there...if I choose.

Because I am Femme...I can love and appreciate all women...but know that it's always the butches that make my heart, body, soul, mind and spirit...SING...!

Because I am Femme...I'm thinking about how a Femme can be both a Stradivarius and a fiddle and needs a skilled and talented set of hands to bring her beautiful music out...Wishing more understood this...!

Boots

8/11/2010
lkf

clay 09-17-2011 04:27 PM

Excellent! Excellent!!! Bravo, Boots!!! YOU are magnificent!!! SOME one is going to be mighty blessed to win your heart!!! Hugs, beautiful lady!!! Clay
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bootsandheels (Post 419576)
Because I am Femme #3

Struts back in...(proud of myself for walking away from nasty used car salesmen)...looks around...removes high heeled sandals and curls up on sofa...

Because I am Femme...I delight in the fact that you are mesmerized by watching me put on my make-up, and I am equally so...by your facial expressions reflected in the mirror...

Because I am Femme...I will stand up to you in my Femme Power if you are ever mean or controlling with me, reminding you that we are still equals when it comes right down to it...and we should always endeavor to maintain mutual love and respect...or I will strut proudly...dignity intact...right out that door...

Because I am Femme...I will take the incredible amount of time, energy and effort that it takes to button, fasten, snap, clip, tie, untie, hook, unhook, and shimmy...all the special lingerie and other things that you adore on me...knowing that within 5 mins it comes off...usually...lol...and it was SO worth it...and always will be...! Because I am Femme...I am a grand chameleon...I am sometimes invisible...sometimes not...and that can often be a good or a bad thing...but I always know who I am and so do you...always.


7/26/2010
lkf


Bootsandheels 09-17-2011 04:29 PM

Because I am Femme #6
 

(Teary...green rubber clogs on, getting ready to go to vet's soon)

Because I am Femme...I really want a strong butch by my side today as I struggle to deal with finding a new home for my beautiful dog who just bit someone randomly yesterday.

Because I am Femme...it's hard for me to admit the above statement, because I'm strong and can handle it with as much grace and dignity as possible, but I so could use that strong, steady, loving butch energy today.

Because I am Femme...I am recognising and missing a whole new level of "bondedness" in the magic dynamic between a butch and a femme...that of true, deep and steadfast friendship.

(shuffles off to the vet to get shots and begin the process of saying goodbye...) 

8/21/2010
lkf

Bootsandheels 09-17-2011 04:30 PM

Because I am Femme #7
 
Pretzled up again at desk cluttered with papers…major “bedhead” hair, makeup still on from yesterday…(I never do that) fleece jacket and green clogs…sigh…plans ‘femmier’ outfit after writing this blog…)

Because I am Femme…I get overwhelmed easily at times by your passion, need and desire for me…yet delight in it.

Because I am Femme…I over think and over feel everything and eventually figure it all out, I just need time to myself, and will pull away from you for awhile to get it.

Because I am Femme…when I get like this I want to run away from the world and become invisible for awhile…but I can’t for long because my femme light shines so brightly…and I need yours too to help find my way.

Because I am Femme…I will always come back to you, if you are truly mine and I am truly yours…it’s just the way it is…like two dancers on stage, one in each corner…carefully eyeing one another…Moving slowly, methodically, gracefully between the solo dance, the duet…the solo dance…the duet…the choreography planned long ago…

Boots

8/29/2010
lkf


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:18 AM.

ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018