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-   -   Sexual Orientation......Who does or does not have one? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2477)

kix4funchick 12-09-2010 06:57 PM

Sexual Orientation......Who does or does not have one?
 
I was just curious about the whole sexual orientation thing. I have been going back and forth between pansexual and polysexual. Then I found out about Pomosexual. I like Pomosexual a whole lot better because it basically means that I do not have a sexual orientation at all. I don't feel like I should have to label myself as anything because I know what I like and that's that. I mean I'm like 10000000% attracted to female bodied people and like 0.000001/4% attracted to male bodied people. So therefore I do not feel comfortable with any of the sexual orientation labels that are out there.

What about you? Do you have a sexual orientation? If so, what is it?

Kobi 12-09-2010 08:38 PM

Just when I catch up with the vernacular, I find there is even more!

I like this concept and it seems fitting for a new generation that has far more options, opportunities, and freedoms.
With fluid sexuality, fluid gender etc. becoming so popular, it makes sense for there to be a
new label for something continuing to develop and expand.

And it makes sense to be able to explore sexuality without having to label oneself as this or that.

I'm not too thrilled with the name tho. Postmodern sounds too clinical.
And Pomosexual makes me think of someone who like sex with pomeranians.

There must be a better thing to call it.


Soft*Silver 12-09-2010 10:42 PM

I am a heterosexual. I happen to have sex with male ID'd people, whether they are male or female. I do not date femmes. I do not like to date femininzed people. Male or female. When I am in a relationship I am definitely heterosexual. The genitals have nothing to do with it. The lifestyle does.

phooey. I am just so sick of labels and what I am. You wanna know what I am? All I can definitely say is I am a femme. Everything else is subject to contemporary cultural clash. Frankly, I fuck everyone. I fall in love with special ones. I relate heterosexually from the 1950s.

Pomeranian sex made me snort my coca cola out my nose...lol...

swagger 12-10-2010 08:58 AM

I made some tshirts saying "pomosexual - because labels suck and not in a good way"

Mostly I'm something of a pomophobe though. To me, labels are language and language is labels..

I define my sexual orientation as any and all of the following: gay, queer, lesbian, dyke

kix4funchick 12-10-2010 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi (Post 244499)
Just when I catch up with the vernacular, I find there is even more!

I like this concept and it seems fitting for a new generation that has far more options, opportunities, and freedoms.
With fluid sexuality, fluid gender etc. becoming so popular, it makes sense for there to be a
new label for something continuing to develop and expand.

And it makes sense to be able to explore sexuality without having to label oneself as this or that.

I'm not too thrilled with the name tho. Postmodern sounds too clinical.
And Pomosexual makes me think of someone who like sex with pomeranians.

There must be a better thing to call it.


Yeah, that's true. Haha, sex with pomeranians. I said the word out loud to myself and I too hate the way it sounds. We should make up a different word for it. I just like what it means. I don't like labels, but I'm mostly a lesbian although there is a very slight chance that I would even consider being with a guy again (like under 1/4 chance of it happening). But yeah, there has to be a better word for somebody who doesn't feel like they should have to label themselves.

LipstickLola 12-10-2010 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June (Post 244880)
How about "Human". Radical, I know.




Thank you :D

atomiczombie 12-10-2010 02:57 PM

I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks.

Soft*Silver 12-10-2010 03:45 PM

I am glad you explained femmesensual because I thought you had been femme and were transitioning to masculine. No, I am not kidding. And I am not being derogatory. I kept silent because I didnt want to offend and I have this disdain about labels so I didnt want to ask because I was not going to ever use it in my every day life even if I knew what it was. I thought it had to do with your transitioning FtM ...that you also had to transition from femme to masculine. One of the FtMs I dated had presented as a femme lesbian for years before transitioning. I thought thats what this meant...am I explaining myself?

PumaJ 02-28-2011 04:04 AM

I've always been sexually oriented toward Butches. Just as I have always been Femme.

There is just something about the way a Butch runs such strong male energy in a female form that rocks my world. I've pondered about the ID of Lesbian. I mean, technically I'm attracted to other women. But in reality, Butch as a gender is not really a woman, nor a man. Adding Femme to Lesbian is sort of helpful, but Queer is just making more and more sense.

I feel zero sexual attraction to women who are not Butch. That doesn't mean I couldn't be sexual with them, because I have been in friends with benefits types of situations, on a couple of occasions. But I am not sexually attracted by such women, so I would not seek out sexual interactions with them.

AtLast 02-28-2011 04:37 AM

Simply put, lesbian.

Nat 02-28-2011 07:18 AM

I tend to veer away from labels with the word "sexual" in them. Sexuality is obviously a big part of orientation, but I've just gotten too tired of people who deny our rights reducing us to sex. Those who would deny our rights tend to be pretty obsessed with what happens between our sheets. My orientation involves what happens between the sheets, but it also involves what happens in my heart. Also, in my own process of figuring out my orientation, I kept trying to figure it out through sex. If I'd let my heart lead and trusted the sex would be awesome, it would have taken me down a much shorter road to the "aha".

Quintease 04-11-2011 09:59 AM

I would have said 100% lesbian, only then I met my bf.

Now I'd say 75% lesbian and 25% transsensual.

LediskoLove99 04-26-2011 10:08 PM

Lesbian. Although I do find myself attracted to guys, just not in the same way I am with women. I'm mean I'm gay not blind haha.

Lynn 04-26-2011 11:07 PM

I don't mind labels, as long as I get to pick my own, based on what they mean to me.

I'm perfectly comfortable with lesbian. I'd say that lesbian really fits me. Dyke is OK, too. I'm attracted to women, especially women who are more masculine and who are comfortable with that in themselves. I love butches, but I wouldn't say that I have embraced the identity of "femme."

Venus007 04-26-2011 11:16 PM

I like queer, it has a nice ring to it and it is only just a little bit of a letter away from queen. ;)

I am attracted to all sorts of genders and sexualities, mostly female bodied but not necessarily so. I tend to be attracted to people's energies and carriage and that je ne sais qua, most of the time they are female bodied but there is an occasional male tossed in about every 20 years.

Lynn 04-27-2011 05:09 AM

Just want to add that it concerns me not at all that I have been attracted to men and was married to a man for 20 years. Having the occasional attraction to someone, regardless of gender, does not confuse me or make me any less confident in my identity as a lesbian.

Chazz 04-27-2011 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atomiczombie (Post 244893)
I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks.

Love the term "femme-sensual". Guess that makes me a "femme-sensual", butch.

I don't date straight women, either; I have little in common with them, too. It's been interesting trying to convey that to straight women (at dating sites) who contact me for a walk on the down-low.

Being a lesbian is NOT just about who I desire sexually, it's also a world view born of a lived experience as not straight, bi, trans~, etc.. A shared world view/commonality of experience is what adds to the intimacy for me.

Chazz 04-27-2011 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynn (Post 327971)
I don't mind labels, as long as I get to pick my own, based on what they mean to me.

I'm perfectly comfortable with lesbian. I'd say that lesbian really fits me. Dyke is OK, too. I'm attracted to women, especially women who are more masculine and who are comfortable with that in themselves. I love butches, but I wouldn't say that I have embraced the identity of "femme."

I tend to label as butch identified, and sexual. Although I am pegged as "masculine" by everyone, I prefer to identify as "butch" when the situation allows because I am not male identified.

Saying I'm butch-identified provides an opportunity to dispel, the still pervasive myth, that all butches are "male-wannabes". That exact term has been repeated to me so often (most recently at dating sites) by straight and bi women, AND LESBIANS, I clarify at first contact. It's surprising how many people see still confuse gender-presentation with gender identification


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