Baby Butch Journey
 

I think I've met the love of my life, BUT she lives with her girlfriend due to finances. Don't want to lose her, but don't have her anyway. What to do, what to do.

that sounds like a sticky situation... you do have choices... just protect yourself from getting so deep that you actually wind up not having her And getting hurt.

but it could work... and i hope it does for you... be patient and understanding.

just my 4 cents...

Since you asked...
 

I am trying to think of a kind way to say this: finances may not be the only reason they are together. People have all kinds of reasons for remaining together besides love.

Get on with your life. If she really cares about you, she will move out. She can get a roommate, 2 roommates, etc. If she stays anyway, at least you will be living your life.

One can't live on hope. Take it from one that wasted a lot of years doing just that.

I hope it works out for you.

I am with Anya on this one but I don't have a kind way to say it really. Don't fall for someones excuse who seems like they want to have their cake and eat it to. Another lesson I learned long ago is that if someone creeps around or cheats on someone to be with you then don't for one minute think at some point they won't do it to you since they have already proven to be untrustworthy and capable.

Lastly I think it is bad karma....we reap what we sow so watch where and how you mingle with something that is taken

Can you call her anytime on the landline? Have you all been together in the same room? Does she talk to you differently when her "ex" is in the same room w/ her? Is it ok for you to just show up at the door while her "ex" is there (I say ex b/c you said g/f I assume it it supposed to be her ex).

I ask these questions b/c sometimes- often I bet that two people that break up live together for awhile out of convenience. I wouldn't write her off, anyone off unless there is evidence, signs that she's keeping you a secret... if it's all very open I'd say give it a good go.

Move on and go about your own buisness.
You are being set up to rescue her and her
pattern of finding a new one while still with
someone else could go on the rest of her life.
9 times out of 10, she will be lining up her next
one while your still living with her or your stuff
is still there.

Find a woman who is okay being single and has
been for quite some time. Otherwise all the
bullshit overlaps and you are in a relationship
that is anything but healthy. She will project
all her insecurities and trust issues onto you.
All patterns tend to repeat themselves, until
people take the time to work on their shit.
:coffee:

IF she lives with the girlfriend, (I noticed you didnt say ex-girlfriend) for financial reasons, make sure she has her finances in order before she moves in with you. Do not offer to help her out with those finances, dont send her money if she cries help. I dont know you, I dont know the girl, but I've read MANY MANY stories on how someone helped the love of their lives, financially, and never saw the girl, or the money again.

call me a cynic if you please, but reality costs far less than fantasy.

Have to agree with everyone. The red flag should have been when she said she lives with her gf for financial reasons.

Oy
 

"BUT she lives with her girlfriend"

until that sentence structure changes I would STAY AWAY!

Is this like a friend girlfriend or an ex girlfriend or what?? I'm confused. LOL

Everyone is quick to tell you to run. I understand what you are going through however. Sounds like you already fell for the girl. Do you spend time with her? Can you spend time with her at your place? Someone else asked if you are able to talk to her whenever?

As I see you may or may not have her. Not sure what is going on with her living with her "girlfriend." Not sure why you are calling this person her girlfriend. I've been in a situation when I've had an ex living with me after we just broke up do to finances and I was dating someone else. It can work and it doesn't have to be all about sex people! Exes can remain friends. They can be respectful of you trying to move on even if they are living with you. Sometimes it's a mutual breakup but they may live together till they figure out finances or out of a lease, etc.

What I would consider in this situation is do you believe you have her, is she with you? Is this supposed to be a committment? Maybe you need to ask her what it is if you are confused.. I say go with your gut. If you feel it's fishy it probably is my friend. Good luck. If you like who she is though I wouldn't give up to easily. You'll figure it out.

I agree with you ruff.

While her living arrangements are sketchy, it doesn't mean that she is a predator waiting for the next victim to pounce on. I don't think you can make a good assessment of her based on one bit of information. You're limiting yourself if you do that. I suggest you get to know her from a safe emotional distance. Don't let yourself get too emotional or too vulnerable. You should take this approach with anyone you meet online or in person. You really can't get to know someone until you spend time interacting with them. Don't fall too quickly.

Don't be the solution to someone's problem. Let her first work out her problems and challenges, find a place and then begin a new relationship with you.