Marriage Titles
 

I live in one of the states that just recently made it legal for same sex couples to get married. YAY!! As a masculine person I'm having a hard time thinking of myself as anyone's "wife" and I don't think "husband" is fitting either. I am trying to figure out, once I'm legally married what my partner and I will refer to each other as. Any suggestions? Should we stick with the traditional terms or invent some new ones that might fit us better? How wonderful that we are living in an age when these are actual concerns. I'm hoping some of you can come up with some interesting ideas on this subject.

Thanks,
Maverick

:cowboihorse:

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I think spouse is a great idea! my lil sis and her other half referred to each other as wife...they didn't identify as butch femme.

This site is very familiar with folks being able to choose what fits them or that they identify as.

This is a great topic.

How about husbutch?

^5 Great topic. Mav!
 

For me, I am really over the term "My Partner." As a young person I always thought it made my gf and I sound like we were in business together or were partnered to play board games or cards.

I do not see myself as a "husband" because of all the historical misogny wrapped in that term. Spouse works for me. I will admit, I do like the sound of Mr. and Mrs.________.

I'm with Greyson on Mr. and Mrs.

It shows a united front to me. An unshakable bond.

Husband and wife.

Partner is okay for now because there aren't many options out there for us that are fitting. Spouse is not one I care for. Nor is companion or life companion.

I thought I would one day hear the words, "I now pronounce you husbutch and wife!"

Strange..In the thirty or so years I was "married", whenever her family sent us a Christmas card, they would always address the envelope using our first names, but their own family name at the end. When my family send a card, they would use their last names, after our first names. When friends sent us a card or invitation, they used both of our names. We had both of our names on the mailbox.We did'nt call each other anything else besides our own names in all those years. But I still do not see anything at all wrong with the traditional Mr. if you ID as masc/trans for now. I personally, use to like the y used in Syr/Myster.

We
 

We use Master and slave, my parents being who they are call him *El Grande* cause my mother has a hard time with calling him slave and pronouncing his name.


Heteronormative titles don't really fit our union, we aren't ever really going to purposefully blend in so what we refer to each other as will be non conventional.

Good question! I agree, I'm tired of the term "partner" and its blandness. My lady likes the term wife and will use that I believe. Husbutch is a cool idea. I keep trying to picture the person marrying us saying "I now pronounce you ________ and wife!" or "Wife and ________", "Wife and wife"? Eh.. "Husbutch and wife" is better. The cool thing is we get to invent what's right for us and don't have to stick with the traditional hetero wordings if we don't want to. Years ago we made up a secret pet word to use in public for each other where we didn't feel safe or comfortable to say "honey" or 'sweetie" etc. We still use that word a lot but not because we're being stealth anymore. We just love the word now for what it represents to us.

I like the term.....beloved

In ceremonies in SF, I have heard folks pronounced spouse and spouse. I believe on the gender neutral CA marriage license (when it was legal), the paperwork said: spouse 1 and spouse 2.

An ex of mine has a sister who refers to her husband as "my friend". The first time we stayed with them and I heard her say that I was a bit taken aback, but only because I found myself thinking, "What? I thought they were married." I asked my girlfriend about it later and she said, "Oh, yeah, they are married, but my sister thinks "friend" is a much more meaningful honorific.". The point is, as others have said, go with what works for you. Let it evolve as it is wont to do.

Me, I like the ol' classic "ball and chain."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chancie (Post 774849) For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

I have given this some thought, and my answer is this. It comes down to whether I am talking to a straight person, in which case, I would not. Only because they wouldn't get it. I actually don't have any straight friends, so I'm not sure if this would happen anyway. Thanks for a good question!

I love wife! I am happy to be a wife. Greyson prefers spouse for him. Husbutch is fine within the queer community for him but I would not use it with straight people. He will be my spouse.

When we were married we had ourselves pronounced as " I now pronounce you as married in the eyes of God and man", And we call each other wife in public. When we say wife it is immediately understood we are queer.

Not personally fond of husbutch, but to each his own.