Transitioning in a Small Town
 

I thought I had my gender identity all figured out, that I identified more "in-between" the two binaries. But now, I've read another member's post on another site, that felt like I could have wrote it, and it got me questioning again. I can't wait to move out of this town to try living as male. I don't want to start now because I don't want EVERYONE to know, I also wonder if I start now, how will it affect my parents relationship with people in the community? Will I ever be able to come back here, or will I be an outcast?

I wish there were more stories of people who live or have lived in small towns and how they navigated things.

I,in the near future will be moving to a small town. Mainly for my sanity and well being.

Every one has a different experience with their families and community. I dont think its just one way or another.

Good luck.

I'm afraid I can't help you, Ender, as I transitioned in a large town (well, large by UK standards of the time, anyway). I think J Deere's correct though - it all depends on the people involved. Some people have wonderful experiences with regard to family and acquaintancs, other have shitty ones. Personally, I had a poor experience with my family (not dreadful, but poor), and with the rest of the world it ranged from marvellous to horrid. And I was cold-shouldered by the lesbian community back then, too (but dont think overly harsh thoughts about them - things were tougher for lesbians back then - paranoia was more understandable).

Thing is, life is a non-repeatable experiment. The way I approach big things like this is to look at the practical possibilities, then decide what to do based on whether I can live with this or that chocie even if it turns out not so good. That is to say, whilst I might come to regret the outcome of my choice of action, I won't regreat making that actual choice because it seemed reasonable, and seemed to be either the best possible or the least worst under the circumstances.

In your situation though, seems to me that trying out socially reassigning in small dollops, if possible, may be a good idea. Is there somewhere you could go for a week or so, presenting as male, without causing problems - staying with a sympathetic friend out of town, perhaps? It'd give you at least some idea of how well reassignment suits you (and how well the world accepts you as male).

Amyway -whatever you do, good luck, Ender! May deity smile upon you, always.

In general, transitioning is not all rainbows and butterflies. This I am finding out. Sometimes smalls towns have more hate then a big city, I have seen that first hand as well.

My opinion is to do what you need to do for your well being, you may lose family, friends, etc but you may gain who you truly are and you never know, a good partner and more friends who are totally accepting, etc.