[imperfect_cupcake]

When my parents got together, they had been lab partners in university together and best friends. So when they divorced, after time apart and new partners, they became incredibly close friends again. They never were cruel to each other after breaking up and never spoke bad of each other in front of the kids.

I learned how to act with break ups from their example, for which I am very grateful.
My first first long term relationship was with my closest friend of a few years and breaking up and losing that friendship was agreed to be an utter and needless waste. I'm still friends with him - we still needed time apart to get used to the break.

Every time the friendship has not worked is when I missed them too much to not be able to keep the wise rule of at least several months apart (and sometimes a year or so) to recalibrate myself independently. Too soon back into a friendship ruins it. Too many hurt feelings still abound, and being unable to put things in perspective.

Granted, I'm never friends with people who have fucked me about. But exes where the relationship just wasn't working out because our emotional or communication differences, or grew apart or changed, then of course I'd want to keep the friendship.

Exes are exes for a reason, but often the reasons aren't because they are an innate arsehole or cheat, often the reason is you just aren't a long term *romantic* match for compatibility reasons. And nothing to do with nastiness.