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imperfect_cupcake · 12-21-2015, 02:05 AM

I didn't say I didn't want chemistry. What I mean is, that for ME, chemistry an be instant (lust based purely on physical attributes, like how someone moves and looks, presents) or it can happen over time. Instant chemistry has made for great sex most of the time, though not all of the time - but it tells me nothing about if they are sane or not. I have a record of high end amazing sex chemistry with drunks and addicts. So, insta chemistry actually makes me wary these days.

But the kind of chemistry that doesn't appear until I know the person? That lasts. That's why I call myself a Sapiophile. That deeper, trust-won, friendship sexy chemistry that develops over time, rather than grabs me instantly...

That's what I mean. And everyone I meet from on line want insta-chemistry. Most of the time I just don't know if I'm sexually attracted till I'm not guarding myself. And that means I need time to not have a giant wall of defence up because I'm so nervous someone is going to pressure me, or grab me, or get weird, or say something racist, or call me pissed off their face, or show up at my work, or start texting me three times a day... Dating has left me seriously scarred lol.

So I genuinely don't know how I feel about someone till I have had time to relax and not worry about them being and addict or an insane person.

12-21-2015, 02:05 AM	#9790
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I didn't say I didn't want chemistry. What I mean is, that for ME, chemistry an be instant (lust based purely on physical attributes, like how someone moves and looks, presents) or it can happen over time. Instant chemistry has made for great sex most of the time, though not all of the time - but it tells me nothing about if they are sane or not. I have a record of high end amazing sex chemistry with drunks and addicts. So, insta chemistry actually makes me wary these days. But the kind of chemistry that doesn't appear until I know the person? That lasts. That's why I call myself a Sapiophile. That deeper, trust-won, friendship sexy chemistry that develops over time, rather than grabs me instantly... That's what I mean. And everyone I meet from on line want insta-chemistry. Most of the time I just don't know if I'm sexually attracted till I'm not guarding myself. And that means I need time to not have a giant wall of defence up because I'm so nervous someone is going to pressure me, or grab me, or get weird, or say something racist, or call me pissed off their face, or show up at my work, or start texting me three times a day... Dating has left me seriously scarred lol. So I genuinely don't know how I feel about someone till I have had time to relax and not worry about them being and addict or an insane person.