[JustLovelyJenn]

I haven't posted in here in a while... so I thought I would give you all an update.

My stress levels are pretty high these days and on the rise.

My son lost his psychiatrist, we tried to get a new one out of town and they declined after a single consult because they felt that we were too far away to adequately manage his medications. He did make some med changes at our consult and then recommended a new local psych. The state medical denied the new medication the second month, along with all but one of his other meds... it took 3 weeks to get that straightened out... all of which he went unmedicated. We then met with the new doctor who is making yet another med change, which was almost denied again.

He is having so much trouble this year I am just at my witts end. His defiant behavior is off the charts and there is nothing I can do to get him to comply. Bribing, threatening, discussion, negotiation... none of it works. If it doesn't directly benefit him he just wont do it... and hes now too big for me to force the issue. Hes been becoming increasingly aggressive towards his sister. From pinching her butt, lifting her skirt, blocking her way so she can not leave a room... and even threatening to ruin her violin with a kitchen knife. I am so glad I made the decision for her to move to her fathers for the time being. She doesn't need to be exposed to this every single day.

The aggressive behavior has also become a problem at school. We have been in for multiple meetings over the last semester and changed his behavior plan more than once. He has stolen a teachers cell phone (he had it for 4 days before anyone knew), locked his teacher and students in the classroom with him and wouldnt let anyone in or out, and made bodily contact with a few students (shoulder shoves, pushing, etc) hard enough to hurt them...

After a lot of discussion and some serious sacrificing on the part of my family we decided to take him out of school and enroll him in an online schooling program. My mom is coming to my house during the day three days a week to run his schooling, and the other two he will stay with my brother. I will work with him on school work one day during the weekend when I am off work.

I feel exhausted. All the time... and trapped in this house.

It doesn't help that I am also dealing with some health concerns of my own that are keeping me down a lot so I cant even be up and moving around to compensate for any of this...

Anyway... I know that was kind of a rant... thats where I am right now...