Cinderella, have you thought about some therapy to help with those mean reds? It could be very helpful. Or maybe some kind of fellowship - like Alanaon? Do you live alone? Would it help to live with someone or in more of a community? There are very interesting senior cooperative communities around the country these days. There's also SAGE and other organizations for queer seniors. Reducing the isolation you feel is important in alleviating the mean reds I think. Wishing you the best.
http://www.sageusa.org/index.cfm