[Bit]

Originally Posted by June

Bit -- No, I get it about work and other places, family, friends who don't get it. I was speaking specifically to people referring to their partners >here< as He, then at >home< they are she.

And I know of a few couples who do this, and my conclusion, and I was not clear about this in my initial post - My conclusion is that somehow referring to our female ID'd partners as "he" here elevates them for the general populice >here< as if referring to them as "She" here, lessens their Butch-ness, hence, their value because of the female pronouns.

I had to read this twice and then walk away and think about it before I had even a glimmer what you're talking about.

Are you saying there are happily female-ID'd Butches who go by male pronouns only online (or whose partners refer to them by male pronouns only online)--and that these Butches are not in any way male identified?

I've not come across anything like this, so I'm mystified.

Did I totally miss your meaning?