Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
George Carlin
