[imperfect_cupcake]

It's very rare I ever crush on anyone. I think I have had maybe three?

I know a few other folks that just don't crush on others. We've talked about how bizarre it looks and how intense it is for someone to feel those things for you without knowing you. It verges on disturbing. Because you know it's not *really* you they have all those feelings for. It's this huge mass of projection, dreams, desires, needs, all kind of flung at you like a mass of wet noodle.

And you disappear as a person and just become this giant screen. And they insist that they love you because of all the intense feels they swear they have never felt before.

But I tell people that feelings are lovely but ultimately it's about earning trust, not demanding it or flinging it at someone; it's about learning how someone behaves with you over time; it's about having shared expereinces and learning to work together.

A crush is someone that makes the world go away or become more so full of colour when you look at them. Love is wiping someone's arse because they are too sick to do it themselves and making them a romantic card to make them feel better even though they were a total shit to you when they got home from the ultra crap day they had - really, you'd like to throw them off a bridge. But you make the card/favourite desert and you do your very best.

Love is built over time in a shared expereince. Crush, from what I feel off of others, is massive hopes and expectations of daydreams. It's all Eros.

Yes, crushes can lead to love. Of course. Or it can burn out. Or it becomes obsessive. Who knows.