Quote:
Originally Posted by nowandthen
Yes, I remember the first time I watch a Femme look right past me, I was devastated. Now I ID as Butch and I have facial hair so I am not read as butch even in some b/f spaces and queer space. I have many people read my markers and make assumptions and that is to my what feels more invisible, the not asking me directly.
For clarity, are you talking specifically and only within a queer (b/f/gay/leather) setting that you feel invisible? Do you desire the world 'at large' if you will to 'see you' beyond 'male'? or are you comfortable/enjoy/are happy in your skin being generally read as male?
But back to your point, I find that I prefer to be read as a gay man than a straight man since I am read as male. I think that stems from the fact that I am also white, not from a place of "white Guilt" but as a response to the privilege bestowed on me. Privilege i also benefit from as a white butch but gain more of. So I still feel invisible and often lonely. I have said to many friends who ask about my experience, that it is an individual journey  So having lived out as a queer now for 31 years I find the question of invisibility to be tied to comfort of others that then cause me pain.
Meaning, if i agree to the markers of meanings that society and others assign, other are safe and happy, and I am not scene and must then come out. The only place or lets say two places i do not have to come out is in my whiteness and class status. being able to typed this on line already makes my class status visible. The pain of not being able to give that silent nod,wink,or smile is just that painful. That what I have for now, I think more and share more later.  |
You've given me some food for thought regarding general privilege and how that has changed for you... thank you (you have before to me directly.
but thank you for posting it here online).