(Hi, LittleDuck
- Now, take that back about me being bossy!)
I'm also glad this is out in the general forum, because for me, it's all about mutual respect and gaining a better understanding. We are having a lot of conversations here about power/empowerment right now, which I find fascinating!
In the past, I have dated Butch Tops and Transmen, what I found to be the case for me is that without exception, they Topped me in bed, but in all other aspects of our relationship, we were equal or I took the lead. Some people think "Top on the streets, bottom in the sheets" is a derogatory term. I don't think that at all, in fact, I think it very clearly defines who I am. I have also known Butch and Transmen who were like that as well, and they were kind of fun
. It's not about "Flipping a Butch". It's about Desire. Even the meanest Butch Top I ever dated wanted to be held and comforted sometimes. I admire people who don't let their ego override their desires. Taking it up the whatever doesn't make you "less than" any more than serving as a table during a gathering does.
People forget that it's the bottom who is taking the lash. Any fool with some practice can manage a single tail, but the real strength comes from being able to take it. Frankly, I don't trust a Top who has never bottomed (Which is different to me than submitting). If you've never taken it, how can you give it? Perhaps that's another thread. But I am referring to people I have known in RL who claim to be Tops and when asked about their experience look at me in abject horror "NO, I could NEVER do that!" as though I had just suggested they suck on some day old underwear. *Spit*.
Great thread, weatherboi - Hang in there.