Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusa
There was some discussion going on over in another thread about Female masculinity and how there is a certain "celebration" around a Butch person moving toward a "more masculine" way of being with adopting male pronouns, transitioning, etc.
That discussion sparked me to start thinking a little more critically about how the Femme community impacts and is impacted by this same continuum of "being more homogenous/acceptable/feminine (and insert any number of things that mean "more than what you already are")".
How do we as Femmes impact the visibility of Female Butches?
Do we, as Femmes, have a continuum in our own community where the hyper-feminine is more valid/valued? What does that look like to you when it's in action?
How does this continuum affect our visibility or does it?
There was also some discussion around pronoun usage and several folks brought up what it might look/feel like to a Femme if she were "he'd" on a regular basis out in the world but also (and especially) in this community.
Thoughts on this?
I'm having some thoughts on visibility and the celebration of movement toward each end of the spectrum for both Femmes and Butches. Particularly Im thinking about how there is something going on with Butches being celebrated as they move toward a more masculine presence and Femmes being celebrated if they maintain a more "hyper" Femme way of being. (Although I will say that I personally don't feel a huge push in our community to be more "valid" as Femmes by being "more" Femme)
Im thinking about how all of these things might affect our visibility as Femmes and how much we do/should care if we are invisible to the outside world. Do you think it is important for people to see you as Femme? Do you feel seen as a Femme in this community? How do you think your experience as a Femme with invisibility is affected by the marginalization of Female Butches?
I realize this is kinda random but I wanted to at least start the discussion and throw some questions out there to get us rolling. I havent had coffee this morning so I apologize if this is jumbled.
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So back to the original post and how I see myself as Femme.
Several thoughts.
I do find that since I "came out" as Femme after many years of being a Feminine Lesbian who dated mostly jocks and Butches who did not really claim Femme, I dress more femininely. Or maybe I feel like I am safe to dress and act in a more feminine manner when I am with a Butch? I don't know.
I don't think anyone would know I am even Queer at all, unless I am with a Butch. It used to bother me, now I really don't care.
As for impacting Female IDd Butches....I wonder if when people seem them with us, they are more likely to assume they are men? At a glance do they see boy/girl? Though, it seems that other Femmes are the main ones in real time who seem to have a problem calling Cynthia and Deb and other female idd Butches "she". I am not sure how we can help this, other than continuing to educate who we can.