[CherylNYC]

I'm a runner. When my date/gf/partner says anything that sounds like commitment I invariably have to fight off that old panicky feeling and practice staying present. I do far better now, but I think I must have tortured my early girlfriends during the time of my life when it was easer to stampede me. Now I just warn anyone who dates me that they should act as if I'm a half-feral cat. You know- 'Here kitty, kitty...' And don't make any sudden moves.

Where does it come from? Oh, the usual bad family issues. And now I have extra baggage from losing two previous relationships to accident and illness. Those deaths certainly registered as emotional trauma for me. Now not only am I somewhat skittish in romantic situations, when I do get involved with someone patient enough to let me warm up on my own schedule I start having irrational fears that she's about to die on me.