Trust issues.... I'm a closed book... When I was young I strongly believed that "whatever you let people know about you they can and WILL use against you...it's not the question of if, but rather a question of when!".
In general I am a very kind, happy, warm person towards those around me.
For some reason that results in people opening up to me inexplicably and effortlessly... and that can be heavy and scary!
Friends tell me the strangest secrets.
Butches cry... yes they do, G-d knows why...
It is so awkward.... at times I wish to ask - what is it am I that ugly??? lolol
Guess your answer... they'd keep on chasing me... and I'd rip them open just like that just by standing there and not saying anything.... I still do not understand what kind of horrible witchcraft is it that i posses to make everyone feel.... something so heavy... it scares me. I'm a good caregiver I guess. lol ...and they just want a hug? lol
I'm warm and kind and nurturing...yet I remain a closed book...
Even Thor does not know much of me... Hy has seen the most I was able to share... more than any other human being...yet it's far from cover to cover...
At times I am ashamed of my inability to trust my inability to connect...
Life is a cruel journey... I'm a survivor... I'm a runner... a forever a refugee, keep on running always keep on running... I chose to only trust partially to the one who could keep up and run with me!
I run as if my life still depended on it... any attempt to stop might be hard landing and I'm still not ready to accept the challenge of cracking in front of another human.
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When life turns its back on you....grab its ass 
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