[Kobi]

My Mom is 87. She was well enough to live alone in her own home until a month ago when she fell and hurt her leg.

She has been in rehab and was doing well but it became clear she could not live alone anymore. Her memory deficits became more noticeable out of her own environment. And physically her mobility is limited due to her pre-existing medical problems and now the leg.

Her personality makes it more complicated. She is either crying hysterically or verbally lashing out at everyone who is trying to help her or completely normal and calm. You never know which will greet you when you call or visit.

Sometimes she understands assisted living is needed. Other times she does not.

There are 3 of us kids. I have been in and out of the hospital since August and am facing anther surgery by Xmas. My sibling who took over Mom's care had a heart attack 2 weeks ago and the stress of dealing with her on this matter is affecting him noticeably. He has to leave when she starts with her crying or anger because it upsets him so.

My other bro and wife have had to take over the planning and the physical stuff us other 2 cannot do. Funny how they kept their distance for the last 10 years even tho they live next door to Mom, and helped only when asked and the help came with attitude. Now, they are more than happy to help out now as needed without any attitude. Irks me to no end.

Yesterday, she was evaluated by the assisted living they chose. We are awaiting word on her acceptance. It sounds like a very nice place and is lovely. But, Mom isnt a sociable kind of person. She prefers only to be with family. There are only a handful of us left and we are scattered thru New England.

Mom is stressed to the max. We are stressed to the max. I wish I knew what to do to make the transition easier for her and for us.