Hey girl_dee
I've been reading your posts and just want you to know I hear what you are saying. The emotional wear and tear of this is exhausting, especially over time. I don't know how long you have been at it but I'm only two years on, also long distance for self preservation, though for different reasons.
My mother has fairly early dementia, zero short term memory, and it's tough in very weird ways. We got along fine when I was in my twenties, then she disappeared for 25+ years (my father didn't like us talking) and then out of the blue my father had a massive stroke and since then she has needed everything. She won't do anything to help herself except complain. Daily.
The nurse I have hired for her and to manage the caregivers told me that he thinks she has "weaponized passivity" down to a science.
I chronicled the whole mess for the first year in this thread but since then I've realized that it.just.won't.stop. Until she dies. I never had kids or siblings so I never had to develop the inexhaustible well of patience required to do this.
All that to say I understand the dread for the daily call, the self harming cycles, the rollercoaster of "what now?", and the just plain old have to keep doing this. I am glad you are posting, it's nice (?) to hear how you are dealing with things, it's easy to get isolated.
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