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Julie · 11-24-2009, 08:36 AM

Words...

I wish I could say to you this will get easier, but your situation is not the same as my situation, when my boys left home to pursue college. I certainly went through my mourning process of letting them go, and cried and cried.

But... What you are experiencing is on a level which is so deep. I spent a year in the middle east, primarily Israel and lived in the Arab section of the old city as a Jew. The majority of my friends were Palestinian and so, I am so sensitive to the injustices of our Palestinian community. There was a time when one of my son's wanted to go to Israel as a Zionist, and being anti-zionist myself, this crushed me. It was his birth right as a Jew (in his eyes), in my eyes, it was wrong and I did not support it, nor would I have supported his choice. Not after living among this community. He did not go, and I am grateful every waking moment. I gave him my WORDS, perhaps a bit strong within my views.

Again... As a human being I have no answers or words which can give you solace. I understand your fears, but cannot related to them on this level you are experiencing. Sometimes our children make choices for their lives which go against the grain of ourselves. We raised them this way, to be independent of us, to make choices and follow their dreams. In some ways, this has given me comfort, when they make choices which terrify me as their parent.

I will say this, you are still the Momma, and perhaps speaking with him about your needs as his Mom, what you will need to make this transition. Starting off with daily phone calls, sending him with a lap top which has a camera, so you two can see one another daily. That he as a young adult has a new responsibility and that is to behave like one. Let him know your fears and your reasoning for wanting to keep this very close communication with him. If he is ready to move to Israel and live among his people, then he is mature enough to take care of his Mom and provide this bit of comfort.

So, no more putting on a brave face, he is old enough to see you, as you feel.

Sending you so much love and support.

Julie

11-24-2009, 08:36 AM	#12
Julie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Angel * Femme * Lesbian * Girl * Woman * Slut * Bitch * Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: No longer a Virgin Bride to Dreamer ~ May 17th, 2014 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4,674 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,676 Thanked 18,160 Times in 3,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Words... I wish I could say to you this will get easier, but your situation is not the same as my situation, when my boys left home to pursue college. I certainly went through my mourning process of letting them go, and cried and cried. But... What you are experiencing is on a level which is so deep. I spent a year in the middle east, primarily Israel and lived in the Arab section of the old city as a Jew. The majority of my friends were Palestinian and so, I am so sensitive to the injustices of our Palestinian community. There was a time when one of my son's wanted to go to Israel as a Zionist, and being anti-zionist myself, this crushed me. It was his birth right as a Jew (in his eyes), in my eyes, it was wrong and I did not support it, nor would I have supported his choice. Not after living among this community. He did not go, and I am grateful every waking moment. I gave him my WORDS, perhaps a bit strong within my views. Again... As a human being I have no answers or words which can give you solace. I understand your fears, but cannot related to them on this level you are experiencing. Sometimes our children make choices for their lives which go against the grain of ourselves. We raised them this way, to be independent of us, to make choices and follow their dreams. In some ways, this has given me comfort, when they make choices which terrify me as their parent. I will say this, you are still the Momma, and perhaps speaking with him about your needs as his Mom, what you will need to make this transition. Starting off with daily phone calls, sending him with a lap top which has a camera, so you two can see one another daily. That he as a young adult has a new responsibility and that is to behave like one. Let him know your fears and your reasoning for wanting to keep this very close communication with him. If he is ready to move to Israel and live among his people, then he is mature enough to take care of his Mom and provide this bit of comfort. So, no more putting on a brave face, he is old enough to see you, as you feel. Sending you so much love and support. Julie