[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by Dylan

I would like to add that this whole monitoring of who is/who isn't 'butch'/'femme' whatnot (i.e. butch-femme is a woman-only club) leads to the monitoring of 'who is/who isn't butch/femme ENOUGH' which drives all of us crazy.

Once we start saying, "Well, SoAndSo isn't *reallllllly* butch/femme, because A, B, C" that leads to "SoAndSo isn't butch/femme *enough*, because of A, B, C"

It leads to hierarchies of butch/femme and definitions of butch/femme by OTHERS instead of individual flavors of butch/femme.

I Hope That Makes As Much Sense Outside Of My Head As It Does Inside My Head,
Dylan

This needed to be seen again.

ALSO... To me, this is what it feels like:

I tell someone my name is Jenny and they call me Jennifer, and not just once, but continue to...I realize Jenny is often short for Jennifer, but if I have not told you to call me Jennifer, why would you assume it is OK? (my birth name is JENNY, for the record)

What happened to listening to what someone defines themself as and honor it? What happened to taking someone's preferred label at face value? What happened to respecting this, which is to address and or greet me as I have asked?

If you tell me you are a trans identified man (he/him) and your name is Mike, then I will say..."that guy Mike, he is cool!"