Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - The Female Male ID "Wars"... or Great Divide

Gayla · 05-28-2010, 04:33 PM

Kobi -

I am almost 44. I've been out for a very long time. I've been involved in lesbian, feminist, separatist communities/politics/activism since I was, essentially, a child. I "get" your experiences in ways that many people may not because mine have been very similar. I've fought for "women space". I've marched in the streets, spoken at rallies, been published numerous times, had my name smeared in many different places. I embraced my lesbian identity with everything I had including my Birkenstocks, labrys earring and Chris Williamson albums. I cried the day I found out Holly Near was sleeping with a man and I cheered the day kd lang hit the cover of GQ. Up until I moved to Seattle, every job I've had was in some way seen as a professional queer. I've worked in non-profits, worked in a feminist bookstore, managed a gay/lesbian bookstore, owned a gay bar, and worked as a therapist in an inpatient chemical dependency treatment center that only served gay & lesbian clients.

So yeah, I "get" it and we come from places of common reference points.

Based on those reference points, I guess I'm still not really understanding what it is about the site that makes you question whether you belong here. There's never been a time in my life where I wasn't butch, even when it was seen as a negative in the lesbian-feminist community. It's as much a part of me as my big ears and the mole on my left shoulder. So when I see an online community that is called "Butch Femme Planet", there is no doubt that this is a place for me.

Yes, there is a huge amount of diversity in this community. There are people here that are just like me and a bunch that are very different. Knowing that other people don't share my same definitions, beliefs and values about "what butch is" doesn't diminish my place in the community or in any way make me see myself as other or not belonging.

You've talked about a lot of different things, and I know you've mentioned a few different things in different contexts, but I really am curious about what types of things, to you and others that feel the same way, lead you to think you don't belong here?

05-28-2010, 04:33 PM	#77
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	Kobi - I am almost 44. I've been out for a very long time. I've been involved in lesbian, feminist, separatist communities/politics/activism since I was, essentially, a child. I "get" your experiences in ways that many people may not because mine have been very similar. I've fought for "women space". I've marched in the streets, spoken at rallies, been published numerous times, had my name smeared in many different places. I embraced my lesbian identity with everything I had including my Birkenstocks, labrys earring and Chris Williamson albums. I cried the day I found out Holly Near was sleeping with a man and I cheered the day kd lang hit the cover of GQ. Up until I moved to Seattle, every job I've had was in some way seen as a professional queer. I've worked in non-profits, worked in a feminist bookstore, managed a gay/lesbian bookstore, owned a gay bar, and worked as a therapist in an inpatient chemical dependency treatment center that only served gay & lesbian clients. So yeah, I "get" it and we come from places of common reference points. Based on those reference points, I guess I'm still not really understanding what it is about the site that makes you question whether you belong here. There's never been a time in my life where I wasn't butch, even when it was seen as a negative in the lesbian-feminist community. It's as much a part of me as my big ears and the mole on my left shoulder. So when I see an online community that is called "Butch Femme Planet", there is no doubt that this is a place for me. Yes, there is a huge amount of diversity in this community. There are people here that are just like me and a bunch that are very different. Knowing that other people don't share my same definitions, beliefs and values about "what butch is" doesn't diminish my place in the community or in any way make me see myself as other or not belonging. You've talked about a lot of different things, and I know you've mentioned a few different things in different contexts, but I really am curious about what types of things, to you and others that feel the same way, lead you to think you don't belong here?