[Gráinne]

I think the first criteria in a prospective partner has to be character, empathy, and integrity. It's impossible to set the bar too high with regards to those things. Same with values-you have to have enough to pull in the same direction, although it's possible to "create" commonality if you have a strong foundation. A lack in any one of those, and the relationship is doomed, no matter how much you have in common.

That gets into the issue of compatibility-do you have enough common interests and outlook to get along? I dobelieve absolutely that you can raise the bar too high in that area-"I'll only date someone if they like blues/jazz/Brubeck/rom-coms, etc. "I'll only date someone who is athletic", "They must play guitar"-you get the idea. The more areas of compatibility you have, obviously the more you'll have to talk about and do together. But it all goes to nothing if your bars are too low in values, ethics and integrity.

Of course, nothing guarantees that you'll meet someone, or that other circumstances won't ruin the chance for a good relationship. But it is a guarantee that if your bar is too low that anyone can meet it, you are setting yourself up for frustrating and unsatisfying relationships.