Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Showing scars: what are your relationship fears?

imperfect_cupcake · 03-31-2018, 11:43 PM

My relationship fears?

Becoming involved with someone who doesn't respect my independence, who makes demands, is jealous, wants to have highly emotional "discussions" all the time, pressures me to spend all of my free time with them, doesn't listen to me when I tell them "no" about things.

Pushes their wants over my nos, making it be about me withholding rather than me having a say of when I get to be vulnerable or trust. Someone who pushes me to give them vulnerability, emotional openness, and commitment when they want it, and not when I'm comfortable giving it.

Someone who changes their mind because of emotional moods.

Someone who wants me to be really traditional and shackled to their idea of love - which is dependence, submission, and putting them before myself.

That's my nightmare, really.

A petulant, demanding, very emotional, high maintenance, mercurial, butch partner who wants to be taken care of by a wife who is their live-in nurse, massage therapist, house cleaner, sex worker, and counselor.

That shit terrifies me! And yeah, I've seen it, lived it, and had dates phone me up or tell me drunkenly at 1am "you are the sexy, lovely girl I want to look after me, I can totally see you in my house... " etc etc etc...

*dumps them the next day*

I am terrified of being suffocated by people who don't care about who I am. Just who I am to them.

03-31-2018, 11:43 PM	#134
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	My relationship fears? Becoming involved with someone who doesn't respect my independence, who makes demands, is jealous, wants to have highly emotional "discussions" all the time, pressures me to spend all of my free time with them, doesn't listen to me when I tell them "no" about things. Pushes their wants over my nos, making it be about me withholding rather than me having a say of when I get to be vulnerable or trust. Someone who pushes me to give them vulnerability, emotional openness, and commitment when they want it, and not when I'm comfortable giving it. Someone who changes their mind because of emotional moods. Someone who wants me to be really traditional and shackled to their idea of love - which is dependence, submission, and putting them before myself. That's my nightmare, really. A petulant, demanding, very emotional, high maintenance, mercurial, butch partner who wants to be taken care of by a wife who is their live-in nurse, massage therapist, house cleaner, sex worker, and counselor. That shit terrifies me! And yeah, I've seen it, lived it, and had dates phone me up or tell me drunkenly at 1am "you are the sexy, lovely girl I want to look after me, I can totally see you in my house... " etc etc etc... dumps them the next day I am terrified of being suffocated by people who don't care about who I am. Just who I am to them.