[Dean Thoreau]

Hey all,
Back in January I had to get a mammogram prior to top surgery simple right.
My schedule was like this start T appx Jan 15

Get top surgery April
Get lower removal surgery April

Well I went and got a mammogram , two days later they call I need a more detailed one....ok cool prolly a cyst.
Well long story short it wasn’t a cyst
So schedule had to be adjusted:
Lumpectomy, so I did that and in one day I had appt to return visit surgeon and endocrinologist.....
Endocrin refuses to start the T said see your surgeon... long story short cancer....
sooo now it’s other breast testing, radiation, genetic testing,
Well of which needed to be done b4 top surgery and a vacation to Italy in March.
So had all the basics and then was faced with a decision full bilateral mastectomy..... or take tamoxifen for 3 years and no T

Genetic testing came back verified what I already knew

Two weeks ago I had a bilateral mastectomy and a complete hysterectomy and three lymph nodes removed in arm pit area at same time. All pathology reports are in and all is clear no cancer no possibility of “female cancer since everything is gone”. Every 6 months I will get a ct scan.
Tomorrow I start T

Now this is not what I planned.... but it is all working out.... in about 6 months the plastic surgeon will do top surgery and contour and I will get tattooed on nipples for the look.

Right now hi am getting accustomed from going from a DDD to nothing but a swollen strip with stitches from armpit to armpit...
So I pass sort of.... next week I start speech therapy to teach me how to maintain my voice in the lower octave range as well as fine tune male word inflection. So as the T takes hold and the facial hair and voice goes even lower than it is already... I’m prepared sort of
I’m 65 and doing this and tomorrow my adult kids and the grands are throwing me a Happy T Day. Party

Why am I scared and doubting myself after all this ?