[easygoingfemme]

My agenda got hijacked and re-routed several times in mostly positive ways.

I woke up with a day ahead of me that was mine to decide upon.

I woke up with grief heavy on my chest making it hard to breathe right.

I drank coffee, I showered, I mowed the lawn, I ate half of a sandwich.

I got out on my bike with intentions of a good long ride. But the grief was so heavy on my chest that it was hard to breathe through it so I took the ride I could and told myself I was doing the best I can right now and I cut it short.

I came home and wandered around ADD style trying to decide what chore to do but nothing felt right.

The sun was out and it's beautiful and my mother and I have been having a really hard time deciding what to do for mother's day five weeks after my brother/her son dying. We are both having a really hard time doing anything that is "normal" around other people who don't know what is going on. I called her to see if she wanted to go to a green house to get some flowers and plant some gardens. She told me that she woke up wanting to do a garden with me. An herb garden that we share. (We live down the road from each other) So we did. I got us a really nice rustic barrel and we got basil and cilantro, lavender, and rosemary and thyme and dill and marigolds to keep the bugs away. We planted together. It was healing. It helped today.

I feel a little better now. A few more chores and reading on the porch for me tonight.