[kittygrrl]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Jesus, fuck.


slut sham·ing
noun
"the action or fact of stigmatizing a woman for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative."

Was this done in the original post in question? Absolutely. Was it then again promoted in a follow up post? Again, yes.

See first post: Disillusioned. I thought joining an all female chat room would be a place to meet ladies and perhaps have a date or two. OMG. No less than 5 countries and at least half of the womens' pics are of women who appear to be ready to do as much as cough hard and they will be prepared to breast feed the world. How can a woman feel good about herself exposing what the law allows and expects to find a person interested enough to make a date. Perhaps another woman like her I really don't know. I am feeling very let down by so many women that I thought might be a couple that were not offensive. Truly disappointed and yes disillusioned.

The underlined portions are especially distasteful to me and I don't even have enough cleavage to breast feed a single person, much less the world. I do, however, have a couple of low cut tops that I do feel good in. Stone asked how that could be if someone expected to get a date (paraphrasing). What I wear has zero to do with anyone else and everything to do with me, as it should be. Plus there's that saying...."if you've got it, flaunt it".

This was included in the follow up post: I learned how respectable women showed up in public and a place of meeting is public.

Was anyone saying that Stone couldn't be attracted to whom she is attracted to? Nope. Was the issue that she was pointing out "respectable" women and talking about those on dating sites who have the cleavage out and proud? Yeah, she did and yes, that was the issue. Does that make her a bad person? Nope again. Does it make her a shamer? Yep.

There are a thousand ways to say that she was disappointed in her online experience and that she didn't find any women that caught her eye or that she wanted to pursue. None of them involve shaming. It was most definitely a poor choice of wording.

kitty, you mentioned that "we're all encouraged here to show our feelings" and then, in the next post, you are telling O to get therapy...sorry..."professional care". She was just expressing her feelings about the shame conversation, which is what you were encouraging in your previous post. And then you touch on judging, but that's exactly what you just did.

If Stone's comments had come from a cis-hetero male, there would be Hell to pay. He would be ROASTED with extra crispy skin, as he should be. But, somehow, it's "okay" if it comes from a cis-female and is just an "opinion"? No. Just no.

Passing judgement on others based on their appearance and clothes, which is what happened in the initial post, is NOT OKAY. No matter who does it. There's enough shame in this world and there's far too many people trying to control women's bodies, especially now, for this to fly in this day and age.

Do you remember trying to slut shame me because i posted this video Gemme?

I remember.

Honestly i was fine with your judgement then and i feel fine expressing how i feel about this free for all all you are all enjoying now..it never ceases to amaze me the lengths rational people will go through for a pound of flesh. We refuse be kind to each other even though we witness each day what hate can do We slaughter each other with guns & with words. Have fun while you can.