Originally Posted by TenderKnight
Interesting thread..
Superfemme, thanks for starting it.. Once again, the people on this site have gotten me thinking about how I go through life and the words that I use and how I use them.
I work in Hillcrest, the *gay* area of San Diego. I work in a retail store that has adult toys and DVD's as well as clothing. Mostly clothing,
honestly.. In any case, we cater to mainly gay males.
Oh Hey. I got ran over in Hillcrest on Sixth and Robinson. Somewhere at that intersection there is an outline of my body. Totally serious.
I have used words to describe the straight college kids that look at the dildos and giggle, or the guys that come in on thier cells saying, "Yeah, dude, i just walked into the gay shop". I refer to some of them as breeders to my other co-workers.. Is this right? No.. I never even thought it was hurtful. Reading this thread has changed my views on the term and I won't be using it, or will at least correct myself when I do use it.
I love your honesty. I am also fascinated that you use this term on males. It is super cool that you are going to change your thinking, that makes this thread worth it time 100.
We also refer to some of the more.. Flamboyant.. gay men as Queens. Keep in mind, over half the staff are gay men or at least bi.. But we use it in a derogatory way, usually for the guys that come in, ask for all the size 14 heels we have, try them on, act like.. well, Queens.. and then don't buy anything.
I'll be honest, we tend to call people a lot of things.. lmao.
Now I have to sit back and ask.. why?
My thought is that for *me*, it is out of anger and frustration. I have to get at them some way and I can't be rude to thier faces, so it gets the frustration out..
Unprofessional? Hell yes.. Very human? Also, yes.
Maybe this is the way you take your power back? Having to serve people that are rude to you all day while being forced to smile has to suck.
Someone mentioned the fact that human nature is human nature, and sadly, part of that nature is making one feel better about ones' self by putting another person or a group of people down. I feel angry and belittled with straight boy comes in and finds it funny to see the gay store, like we're a friggin' zoo.. I feel frustrated and belittled when a customer takes 30 to 40 minutes of my time, me climbing ladders and getting shoes and they can't even make eye contact with me and treat me like a servant? Fuck yeah that pisses me off and I may refer to them as a fucking queen.
Words do have power. They can be weapons, or they can be tools for healing.. It's all about how we use them.
Just my .2 on the "shim" "he/she" thing.. *sighs* I am not a fan. I will admit when i was growing up and in the closet, i threw that word around with my then friends and buddies. I was trying to be a part of the straight guy world, and amazingly, there was a lot of name calling involved.. lol Now? I still hear the term, mostly from older lesbians, to be truthful.. *shrugs* I try to explain about transgender and all the personal story stuff, and sometimes it takes, sometimes it doesn't.. But i chalk that one up to ignorance or just plain ass hat behavior (ass hat, now that's a word I'm going to start throwing around more..).
That is how I've used words to hurt others.. In truth, it only hurts and belittles me to use them and to have that negitive energy so near to my heart.. Something that I'm working on, daily.
Thanks again for the thread and to everyone that posted.
-Tony
|