Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Salon de Femme--aut delectare aut prodesse est

Bit · 11-28-2009, 11:59 AM

I've been having some trouble with this.... okay. A lot of trouble. I can't seem to articulate what makes me feel "Femme."

I can tell you what makes me feel sexy--being around Butches. What makes me feel feminine--getting dressed up. What makes me feel like a girl--being around Da---er, wait a minute, lol, I always feel like a girl whether anyone else is around or not...

Yanno, I think that's the heart of it. I always feel like a Femme, too. Nothing changes it, nothing makes it more or less, nothing brings it forward or pushes it back... being Femme just IS. It's not something I do, it's not something other people can change, it's not something that even needs attention... it's just me, at the bedrock of my being.

I used to worry about it a lot. I've felt utterly inadequate about it, I've felt stupid about it, I've felt gauche and awkward with it---but those have all been responses to others who have judged it. I'm hoping I'm finally beyond that kind of vulnerability and uncertainty.

It helps enormously that a category finally showed up that fits me to a T. The day Gryph called me a "Homespun Femme" I realized that nobody could judge me for being not-good-enough in that category, lol! A Homespun girl doesn't have to perform any kind of gender presentation, doesn't have to conform to anyone else's standards, doesn't have to reform her looks and glam it up for anyone. A Homespun Femme just IS, however she might be in the moment.

11-28-2009, 11:59 AM	#52
Bit Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Relationship Status: married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,126 Thanked 3,772 Times in 1,264 Posts Rep Power: 10778869	I've been having some trouble with this.... okay. A lot of trouble. I can't seem to articulate what makes me feel "Femme." I can tell you what makes me feel sexy--being around Butches. What makes me feel feminine--getting dressed up. What makes me feel like a girl--being around Da---er, wait a minute, lol, I always feel like a girl whether anyone else is around or not... Yanno, I think that's the heart of it. I always feel like a Femme, too. Nothing changes it, nothing makes it more or less, nothing brings it forward or pushes it back... being Femme just IS. It's not something I do, it's not something other people can change, it's not something that even needs attention... it's just me, at the bedrock of my being. I used to worry about it a lot. I've felt utterly inadequate about it, I've felt stupid about it, I've felt gauche and awkward with it---but those have all been responses to others who have judged it. I'm hoping I'm finally beyond that kind of vulnerability and uncertainty. It helps enormously that a category finally showed up that fits me to a T. The day Gryph called me a "Homespun Femme" I realized that nobody could judge me for being not-good-enough in that category, lol! A Homespun girl doesn't have to perform any kind of gender presentation, doesn't have to conform to anyone else's standards, doesn't have to reform her looks and glam it up for anyone. A Homespun Femme just IS, however she might be in the moment.