[Dylan]

Yes. There is great privilege in passing.

Of course, there is. Do I think it can have it's down sides? Of course. We all want to be seen for who we are and not feel ashamed about who we are. Unfortunately, we don't live in that society. We live in a kyriarchal (sp?) society where This trumps That.

I'm beginning to experience some aspects of straight, male privilege (it's a tight walk), and I notice a lot of the places that, over the last 40 years:

conversations go more smoothly.

I'm taken more seriously.

people are nicer.

people don't stare.

I don't set off any radars.

people don't grab their kids.

people don't point at me.

kids don't stare and point and ask questions while their parents grab them and hold them closer.

people don't follow me through stores

salespeople don't stare at me in stores

people don't look at me then quickly look at my girlfriend

people don't immediately 'look for my chest' to determine my gender

NO ONE stares at me in the bathroom and gasps

I'm sure getting a job is going to be easy as pie.

I'm sure companies/people with whom I spoke BEFORE I got to the interview won't tell me there was a mistake and they're really not hiring

No one's told me lately the values of finding jesus

No one's given me ANY kind of religious lecture lately

Men get out of my way when I'm walking down the street

People get out of me and Mahhh Woman's way when we walk down the street together

People actually LOOK at me when they're talking to me now

Women don't clutch their purses tighter when I walk by.

Surprisingly, not every homophobic woman in the world thinks I'm hitting on her anymore

I can walk into ANY gas station, bar, club, grocery store, restaurant, etc in ANY part of Texas and NOT have to worry that Bubba's gonna want to kill me or string me up to a fence post.

Some of that is male privilege, but most of it is STRAIGHT privilege. The male privilege is a little bit different.

Do I *enjoy* it? You bet your sweet ass I do. I, for the first time in my life, DON'T live in this constant state of 'having to look over my shoulder' or be 'hyper aware' of my situation. I mean, there's regular safety issues without the added hassle of homophobia and being constantly 'on guard' for some corn-fed, bubba Texan wanting to kick my ass. As someone who's been called, "Lez/Dyke/Lezzie/He-She/Fag/Faggot/Homo/Boy-Girl/YouNameIt since I was two years old from friends, kids, teachers, co-workers, principals, parents, family, passers-by, and ANYONE else...yeah, I'm enjoying people NOT fucking staring at me.

For the first time in 36 years, I've gone an entire month without being called some sort of homophobic/transphobic slur.

And really what am I supposed to do when handed a 'hello' from someone who's reading me as straight? Yell at them and tell them *not* to say hello?

Should I tell women to clutch their purses like they 'used' to?

Should I tell people they *should* grab their kids?

You can't 'give back' the privilege.

But you can stand up for shit you don't believe in. If someone's saying something homophobic around you...CALL THEM OUT! Tell them you find their humor offensive.

But really, what are you gonna do? Run around coifed in a rainbow? What are you gonna do, run down the street tell folks you're a 'tranny'? You'll get killed before you make it to the next major intersection.

I tell some people I'm trans, and I don't tell other people I'm trans. It's not some people's business. My queerness isn't relative to every single conversation I have, and neither is my trans status. Honestly, I'm done being a fucking poster child. I've done it too long. I just want to live the rest of my fucking life NOT being pointed at, stared at, slurred at, beaten up, or any other damned thing...I'm not coming out to the whole world anymore. And honestly, what's the point? I can be supportive, and I can be political, and I can still be the same loud-mouthed, opinionated jack ass I've always been. The difference is people now don't have to judge me BEFORE I open my mouth. And, because I'm taken more seriously, my words actually carry more weight now than they did before. I can be a much more useful mouth-piece without wearing my "I'm trans" T shirt while I walk down the street.

Hell yeah passing is a privilege. I (me,me,me) get to tell whom I (me,me,me) *want* to tell. I (me,me,me) might get judged now on my actual merits (as in workplace) instead of my queer status. IF I get a job now, it won't be because I get to be the visual 'diversity marker'. "Ohhhh, look how awesome we are...we hired a lesbian! Go Team Diversity.<insert backpat here>"

I think anyone who has privilege (passing or otherwise) needs to be aware of it, but I also think it's ludicrous for anyone to *want* to be oppressed. Honestly, I think that's more a cover up for guilt. No one wants to be oppressed...that's a given. It doesn't mean you have to utilize the tools of oppression you were given, and it certainly doesn't mean you have to constantly put yourself in a place of being oppressed.


Dylan