[Mrs. Strutt]

I had the opportunity to think about this more over the past week after I commented on the other thread about having negative thoughts about privilege in light of my background.

My daughter and I drove to Gainesville, FL from the Tampa Bay area last Wednesday for my dad's surgery. When you live in a major metropolitan area in Florida, where life is associated with vacations, white sand beaches and the world's most famous mouse, it is easy to forget sometimes that Florida is in the South. The deep, deep South...a place where "different" is scarcely tolerated in certain areas.

As I entered more rural areas on my way to north Florida, the billboards and advertisements for Disney and waterfront living faded away to be replaced with common highway sights that can be found on any major interstate below the Mason-Dixon line: signs announcing ammunition for sale, Baptist/Pentacostal church advertisements exhorting passers-by to "Choose Life!", and "We Bare All!" billboards for truck stops featuring blondes that were more likely to be found in Beverly Hills, CA than in Beverly Hills, FL.

When I stopped for gas and some cold drinks, it occurred to me that Katie and I were attracting little notice: a woman and her child passing through, fellow travelers perhaps idly wondering as to the whereabouts of the husband that belonged to the rings on my left hand.

Had Mr. Strutt been with us, however, there would have been more than idle speculation. On our annual travels back to hys hometown in North Carolina, we have grown accustomed to looks and occasional raised eyebrows as those around us try to "figure it out." We have never felt threatened in any way, but the attitude is palpable and we have always taken precautions in the event that idle speculation ever becomes active threat.

So was the fact I "passed" as a straight woman a privilege in terms of "safety" for me and my child? Yes, it was. It also reminded me I can turn my "passing" on and off at will, for the reasons and situations I choose, while Mr. Strutt cannot.

Perhaps part of why I am uncomfortable with my "femme privilege" is because I do have that choice.