SF, I am so glad that you started this thread, because I do have some questions floating around about different ways of being.
I am very glad Violaine and Christie posted, to see how some of my friends process taking to DA people on the Neurological Spectrum. I am not sure how head injuries play in, but probably similarly?
I must admit I have seen posts, that were so clear and easy to understand for me, that would have seemed asshatish to someone neurotypical, moderated firmly....and then, when I questioned their treatment, have been told "so and so is not stupid. NO, none of us are stupid, but some of us do process things much more literally than others and I think that while I get the not giving anyone special passes, I also question expecting everyone to be able to communicate on the same level.
Because of my own difficulties, I advocate for patience and love and not jumping to the worst possible conclusion automatically for other people. I hope I do not seem patronizing?
I do admit to working really hard all my life to fit in and be able to communicate and behave in a socially acceptable manner. So yes, everyone can work on themselves and make improvements. Absolutely!
Now, I am not saying that other people's reactions to persons who are DA is better or worse than mine, but I (from my ME place) am not a fan of tough love. I understand tough love is an option and that friends whom I love and admire are way more upfront than I am. But for me, having some neurological opportunities of my own, I don't expect a pass but I certainly appreciate those who are kind to me and who take the time to really hear me.
I am not not not saying that we could coddle those people whose lives are constantly a disaster, just I think sometimes kindness and compassion does not have to be belittling or othering.