Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperFemme
I think I mixed up a post with responding to what you wrote about and speaking to my own (adeles) feelings/experiences.
I didn't at all mean to imply that you coddle you son. If I did I want to apologize to you, because that would be an awful thing to say. I smiled when you said "Bratboy" and knew from what you wrote that you are all kinds of great as a mother.
I totally am for giving consideration to *where* a person is coming from, but not so much for allowing challenges as a crutch/excuse (which you worded so well, thanks).
I think I wish we could give everyone consideration because it is not just different abledness that causes a post to read bad. It could be a bad day, a break up, a death in the family or a million other things that leads to an asswipe post.
I hope I explained this better?
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Please don't think I thought you were saying I coddled my son. What I know is that just as unique as the DA's are - so are the nonDA's! What works for us isn't necessarily going to work with another Aspie/ODD/ADHD/(pick an acronym!) Just as you and those close to you have done, I think we all find what works in interactions - DA or not.
I like to think that I am a great mother - or at least the greatest mother I am capable of being! Thanks, tho - your words mean a lot.
I think Snow has a great point in those who continue to blow past the boundaries, time and time again, despite folks having taken the time and energy and patience to try and help the DA understand the disconnect.
I don't know what the answer is - but I find that with Bratboy, ignoring the unwanted behavior usually gets results. The moment I explode with, "STOP TAPPING ME ON THE FUCKING ARM", he takes that 179IQd DA brain and records it for future reference that that is a weakness and must be exploited at every possible turn.
I also find this works well with the overly needy dog. Cesar Millan has something going with the communicating with energy as opposed to words. Maybe we have to find the language the other person understands. Maybe, there is no common language and we need to resort to energy.