deeperstill (love the name, btw
), thank you for your warm wishes and thoughts.. it helps
softness, I don't feel like a hero, but I thank you.. lol.. You know, being a lil out of the fog has let me see just how much people do care about me.. Tonight at work, my co-worker went to the store to get me soup.. and then cooked it for me, lol. She knows how bad I've been going through it..
Wow.. I just felt grateful.. lol.. Weird, it's been a couple of months. :/
It's going to be a raw time for me coming up.. But you know, I'm glad I almost have 24 hours right now.. So much is going through my brain, and I have to admit to looking forward to meeting with my sponcer again.. He's been my sponcer for almost two years now and he is a true friend.. My shame has kept me from contacting him, other then a short call here and there.. He told me that he loved me no matter what and if I just needed a friend, without meetings or steps, I had it. I am grateful for having him in my life.
I guess I just got all kinda of bogged down with myself and *my* plans that I ignored my Higher Power's plans.. But then, maybe this is part of it too.. I don't know. (keeps expecting the timer to go off on my share, lol). In any case, I wanted some play time and thought that being "free" to do whatever i wanted was the answer.. I was actually just locking myself up into my head and my apartment. Blah..
Anyway.. I am sober tonight. First time I can say that in a few months now. It feels good, but weird.. I'm also still in withdrawl, so I'm starving but can't get much down..
Soups and stuff work, but the thought of solid food turns my stomach.. Crackers work if I'm slow with them. Like I said, like the flu but without the fever and cough, lol.
Thank you both again.. Your words and thoughts have and continue to help me.
In Light,
Tony