Day 4 clean and sober.. I'm starting to feel alllll the aches and pains I've numbed out the last few months.. But you know, I am grateful for them. I'm grateful to be really TIRED and not just stoned or high or so friggin full of pain meds that all I can do is toss and turn and scrach my back until it bleeds or being tired and not being able to sleep because I took too many pills and am pacing my apartment.. I'm thanking God for the stabbing pain I get in my side every night toward the end of my shift.. I know that it is part of me and part of my life.
I talked with a friend in the Program today for an hour and half.. Really connected with him and it felt awesome. I am grateful for my life and being able to FEEL again.. The good stuff and the bad stuff.. It is all part of me and my life and I get to feel it again.
Meeting with my sponcer tomorrow and going to start my steps over again.. I am also going to try to catch a meeting, no.. Scratch that, i will be going to a meeting.. There is an NA round robin type meeting a block away.. I haven't been to an NA meeting in over a year.. I think that is where I need to be.
Thank you all for writing and sharing in this thread.. realtime Fellowship is vital, but this thread has been saving my ass from falling off.. Thank you.
-Tony
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