Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Anybody want to talk about sexual expression (performance?) as we age? Nitty gritty stuff.

AtLast · 08-09-2010, 05:36 PM

Although, I get told I am aging well (whatever that means), the fact is that I have severe polyosteoarthritis along with RA. In some ways, I felt older when first diagnosed in my early 40's. Sure, I remain active, but can't do many physical things I used to do. I'll be 60 in March of 2011 and most of the time age is just a number to me. I was a competitive athlete and these changes were not easy to accept.

My libido certainly can be affected my chronic pain and medications. What I have learned is that I have to just adjust dosages of some medications and use others to help during sex with muscle spasm and pain- kind of tricky!! Also, using mental imagery and just sex-talk can work wonders in kick-starting a higher level of desire. So can sensual massage and tantric methods (especially these breathing techniques for prolonged sexual activity).

Sexually positions have changed for me with age and the arthritis. Won't be flying off ceilings anymore! Yet, sex remains the wonder it always has been for me...... with the right partner. And choosing a partner that understands able-bodied privilege and sex is important for me.

Life changes with age, just a fact and sex changes along with everything else. Reaching the appropriate developmental stages in life to meet these changes emotionally with acceptance, and an ability to explore possibilities (instead of only seeing loss and barriers) and the inner grace to explore my body from different viewpoints, has been key to remaining a healthy sexual being while aging. I don’t gauge sex according to performance criteria of others except for the desires and needs of a partner. We will meet somewhere in the middle!

Oh, I did have a loss of libido during menopause, but it elevated later on... think it was finally being free from the horrible and frequent headaches I had!

Thanks for the thread! I hope there will be lots of discussion from everyone.

08-09-2010, 05:36 PM	#2
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,830 Times in 3,200 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Although, I get told I am aging well (whatever that means), the fact is that I have severe polyosteoarthritis along with RA. In some ways, I felt older when first diagnosed in my early 40's. Sure, I remain active, but can't do many physical things I used to do. I'll be 60 in March of 2011 and most of the time age is just a number to me. I was a competitive athlete and these changes were not easy to accept. My libido certainly can be affected my chronic pain and medications. What I have learned is that I have to just adjust dosages of some medications and use others to help during sex with muscle spasm and pain- kind of tricky!! Also, using mental imagery and just sex-talk can work wonders in kick-starting a higher level of desire. So can sensual massage and tantric methods (especially these breathing techniques for prolonged sexual activity). Sexually positions have changed for me with age and the arthritis. Won't be flying off ceilings anymore! Yet, sex remains the wonder it always has been for me...... with the right partner. And choosing a partner that understands able-bodied privilege and sex is important for me. Life changes with age, just a fact and sex changes along with everything else. Reaching the appropriate developmental stages in life to meet these changes emotionally with acceptance, and an ability to explore possibilities (instead of only seeing loss and barriers) and the inner grace to explore my body from different viewpoints, has been key to remaining a healthy sexual being while aging. I don’t gauge sex according to performance criteria of others except for the desires and needs of a partner. We will meet somewhere in the middle! Oh, I did have a loss of libido during menopause, but it elevated later on... think it was finally being free from the horrible and frequent headaches I had! Thanks for the thread! I hope there will be lots of discussion from everyone.