[suebee]

I was at a take-out restaurant last week and just happened to be sitting at the picnic table next to the playground equipment. A cute little girl came up and started playing and struck up a conversation with me. A few minutes later another child ran up and started playing with her. They looked very much alike but I didn't know if the second child was a girl or a boy. When they introduced themselves it turned out they were twin sisters - identical. One preferred pink and purple, the other always wore black. One loved frilly clothes, the other wore only boy's clothes. And the little pink-clad girl recounted all this to me as a matter-of-a-fact. I met the mother about fifteen minutes later (when the girls and I were OLD pals! ) and her attitude was that her daughters were who they were, and she had no reason to encourage them to be other wise. She was a GREAT Mom!

Just about then my girl - wearing her brown and black "boy's" clothes came back to the table. I introduced the girls to her, and she took the hint. She told them that she too preferred boy's clothes, and in fact she knew twin sisters who were much like them: one wore girl's clothes, and the other boy's clothes. It was great!

By the way, the girls are starting school this year, and will be in different classes, and they're fine with that.

Back to the OP's story: the more I think about it the more I think that the parents have a specific reason for doing this - one related more personally to their child rather than the principle of not pre-defining what gender means to him/her. And let's face it, at some point either neighbourhood kids or kids at school are gonna want to play "show me yours....." and the secret will be out. I think they risk making it a great challenge for others to find out what the great secret is.

Interesting situation though.