[Lynn]

The notion that people are deliberately dismissive or silencing because they use big words or complex phrases is kind of...dismissive...to me. Not that I take this personally, because I don't. I don't think I have posted enough to be noticed that much. If anyone is talking about me, I sure don't know about it.

I have always been a quiet person. One that a lot of people made fun of, when I was younger. I tended to read a lot, liked to try to get good grades, and I wasn't mean. I was shy and insecure.Therefore, I wasn't cool. People said I was conceited and said that I thought I was better than them. I couldn't believe that, because I didn't think I was good enough for anything.

In school, and now, I tend to use big words. Why? I don't know. It comes naturally. I know what they mean and sometimes they fit best. By the same token, sometimes I have complicated thoughts about something and I work really hard to say things in just the right way. I don't try to outsmart anyone, nor do I get involved in the "outwitting" contests that I sometimes see. Not because I find them silencing (unless they're derailing a thread, then it sucks). More because I'm shy, and don't want to appear stupid.

There are times when the discussion gets too esoteric for me. For the most part, though, I don't assume that just because I can't understand someone, that they're trying to shut me out of a discussion. I feel it's as much my responsibility to try to understand someone as it is their's to make themselve's understood.

I just wanted to add a couple of other things...

I agree that it's about respect. Respect for individuals. And kindness. If we would always give each other the benefit of the doubt, we could communicate much better. I have seen threads deteriorate when something is misperceived, or even if a less popular opinion is voiced. There have been times, though, when I read no disrespect at all, but it was perceived that way by someone else.