Quote:
Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow
I did something shameful.
I would sometimes drive to the closest major city that had a large queer community (multiple times) with my rainbow sticker on (it was one where you can just peel it off) and took it off when I drove back home to my smaller town.
I work for a Catholic School Board. (which is actually PUBLICLY funded due complicated reasons). I still burn with redness that I actually reached back and peeled it off before I hit my city--my apt. was very close to my school at the time.
There's more shame than that but I wanted to share that feeling of peeling off the sticker--when I had my first queer relationship--so NO ONE would KNOW that I had a female lover.
Thanks for sharing your stories of rainbow/queer stickers or visible signs of being part of the LGBTQI community.  |
Seriously, I get that I can't make you feel unashamed but I really want you to know that I "get it" and that I don't think you need to feel shame.
I am a -huge- believer in self-preservation. I mean, you need to have your job to survive and not being harassed is one of the big keys to making the ONE THIRD of your week that is spent actually at work bearable. You deserve that. I deserve that. Everyone deserves that.
Sure, in an ideal world everybody can be totally open all the time AND be free from harassment. But we DO NOT LIVE in a perfect world. Not by a long shot.
My bestfag's boyfriend of (lawdy....12 years I think at least?) teaches at a Catholic highschool. So he compartmentalises. And I think that's fair and I think that's smart.
Ditto with me. Now that I live in a smaller and more conservative town I really put the feelers out at work before I said anything. TO THIS DAY there are coworkers of mine who do not know - because I have observed them to be assholes who would be cruel to me. The people at work who have become more than just coworkers know about Nick. My boss knows about Nick. The assholes do not need to know.
And while I do know that if they were to be cruel to me that my boss and the organisation that I work for would have my back - I would rather just not go there. That's bullshit that I do not need to deal with when all I really want in the whole world is to do my job and go home.
I do not consider myself closeted. I just don't talk about my personal life while I'm at work - ever. But then...I never really have even when I worked for an ASO (AIDS Service Organisation - lol) and the vast majority of my coworkers were Queer. My job is not where I go to get my social needs met. That's what bars, my family, and the internets are for.
I -do- give a verbal smackdown to the asshole coworkers when they say shitty things about the LGBTIQ community. Just like I give them the verbal smackdown when they are racist or classist.
In the meantime....two years ago I contacted the higher-ups and demanded that they hold mandatory training about oppression and sensitivity and about Shit That Decent People Do Not Say. Most people got something out of it, even I did. And the people who didn't get something out of it - well. I already knew that they were assholes.