[sylvie]

thank you, so very much..
this community really has a lot of caring people, i'm finding and it's heartwarming.. i really appreciate everyone taking the time to leave notes and advice here as well as messages..

(((huggggs)))

i 'am' working on letting go more.. i have some, and am proud of myself how far i've come with this.. i admit, inside i still feel some guilt - after all he is my father, but i admit that as the days go on, it's feeling a little.. i cant say easier because it's not easier, but maybe more.. i don't know the word i'm looking for, i cant find it..

i have not attended any more meetings, that's something else i will work on doing though.. because i know that is probably what will help me deal with the guilt and letting go emotionally too.. he has an appointment coming up with his neurologist, and he's requested i go as well (the neurologist) .. as it was me he met with when my father was in the hospital.. i guess we'll soon understand the extent of any damage, etc.. and the results of some tests he's had..

this may sound sad to say but, i don't know if my father has had any drinks since then, or lately.. i don't ask anymore, i don't let it consume me anymore.. there are plenty of times i think about it and wonder if he is, but i don't put myself out there anymore.. maybe the less i know, the better..but, i also have been feeling very intolerant.. (for me, this is a good thing)

anyway, thank you so very much .. it means a lot to get the emotional support here that i do.. i knew if i opened up some, it would be a good thing.. everyone here is so helpful, and understanding.. ♥