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Zora77 · 09-27-2010, 10:07 PM

I keep coming back to his thread and reading through your responses that all are tremendously helpful. I assume that embarking on this journey will come in many stages and facets that differ greatly from person to person. There is one that I currently am chewing on and not too much has been said about it (maybe because most of the trans folks and their partners who did respond here are on T).

I have a few questions for those of you whose partner is pre-T and pre-op: Does he pass? Are you being perceived as a female/male couple? If not, how do you deal with the issue of being perceived as two women? And how does it impact how you perceive your partner and yourself? Does it?

For some reason this is something that I do think about at this point because R. does not pass. In appearance and body language he is less ‘masculine’ than some female identified butches I have dated and he is more emotional and sensitive as well – even more than me. In my conversations with friends I run into surprised reactions and disbelief (because they all met him as a woman). And when I’m honest there is this part of me that has doubts and I feel really bad and guilty for having these thoughts.

It would be lovely if some if you could share more about transitioning without T and surgeries. How do you deal with the "but he does not look like a guy" response?

This really challenges me - but ultimately I think it's a good thing.

Thanks.

09-27-2010, 10:07 PM	#27
Zora77 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: May 2010 Location: San Francisco Posts: 58 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 72 Thanked 121 Times in 37 Posts Rep Power: 175636	More Questions I keep coming back to his thread and reading through your responses that all are tremendously helpful. I assume that embarking on this journey will come in many stages and facets that differ greatly from person to person. There is one that I currently am chewing on and not too much has been said about it (maybe because most of the trans folks and their partners who did respond here are on T). I have a few questions for those of you whose partner is pre-T and pre-op: Does he pass? Are you being perceived as a female/male couple? If not, how do you deal with the issue of being perceived as two women? And how does it impact how you perceive your partner and yourself? Does it? For some reason this is something that I do think about at this point because R. does not pass. In appearance and body language he is less ‘masculine’ than some female identified butches I have dated and he is more emotional and sensitive as well – even more than me. In my conversations with friends I run into surprised reactions and disbelief (because they all met him as a woman). And when I’m honest there is this part of me that has doubts and I feel really bad and guilty for having these thoughts. It would be lovely if some if you could share more about transitioning without T and surgeries. How do you deal with the "but he does not look like a guy" response? This really challenges me - but ultimately I think it's a good thing. Thanks.