Quote:
Originally Posted by Zora77
Thank you Firie for your response! I totally get where you are coming from and admire your confident and passionate stance. Unfortunately I feel that I’m not quite there yet and it would feel hypocritical for me to get angry at people’s responses because on some level, as much as this upsets me, I can relate.
Although I do not identify as a lesbian, I did also not go into this relationship with the awareness that R. is a man. Although my response was not ‘shock and disbelief’, I was a little puzzled. I consider myself a very open-minded person and in discussions about people choosing to transition, I’m always the one who adamantly challenges people who do react with some form of ignorance. Maybe that’s why it is so hard for me now to be confronted with my own as this is no longer an abstract discussion for me.
The questions you brought up that I need to think about are “what does a guy look like to you and why do you care?” I feel my own perceptions or definitions of ‘male’ and ‘female’ are being challenged and so is my open mind, which feels rather narrow these days  |
I'm on my phone, so can't post much of response, but wanted to clarify that asking folks to think about their response to your partner is not "angry" in my opinion. Its asking for respect and understanding in my opinion. My issue here is why wouldn't your friends instead offer support over questioning an adult and his identity? He is who he says he is, and that should be the basis of one's response in my opinion. Hopefully that makes sense.